Dad Jokes

It’s the way you tell them.

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https://community.drownedinsound.com/t/favourite-put-downs/28364/21?u=ma0sm

A steak joke… that’s a rare medium. Well done.

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Alright, mate. Don’t overcook it.

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“Going to India with the parents for a holiday”
“Mumbai?”
“No it was dad who paid for it”

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At a wedding I went to yesterday the father of the bride made a joke about how he called his starter “gold soup” because it had 24 carrots in it

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Am joint best man with @anon76851889 at our brother’s wedding in April. Sorely tempted to nick this and add it to…

Two television aerials on neighbouring rooftops fell in love and got married. They had a lousy ceremony but the reception was fantastic.

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I’m sure it’ll be a very emotional day

(@Jeremys_Iron where r u)

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my dad does similar to this if I’m driving the car: use Soundhound or whatever to find out what it is and then say, for example, “Ah, can’t beat a bit of ‘Quantum Leap’ by John Maus from the album We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves”.

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I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

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January - Greg
February - Ian
March - Ian
April - Greg
May - Ian
June - Ian
July - Greg
August - Ian
September - Greg
October - Greg
November - Ian
December - Greg

The Gregorian Calendar

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Fucking hell

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This is brilliant.

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Lolled at that one, fantastic! :joy:

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Chinny Reckon.

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  • I went to The West Indies with my wife
  • Jamaica
  • No, she went of her own accord

The old 'uns are the oldest. :clown_face:

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Just been camping.

  • In tents?

No, pretty chilled really

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Just saw Natalie Portman arguing with Jessica Alba on a camping holiday.

That was pretty in tents.

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A teacher once said this to me, I said ‘yes I am Jesus!’ Single greatest moment of my schooling career.