Dad jokes ๐Ÿ™„

Before my surgery the anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation

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Hi ether/oar situation, Iโ€™m dad

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No one got any good dad jokes?

What is forrest gumps password?

1forest1 :grin:

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Nice

not sure this is a dad joke really - but it made me laugh the other day (with the opening line played completely straight, over text, with a lengthy pause before the next text)

I went to the doctors the other day

They found some lettuce up my arse

turned out it was just the tip of the iceberg

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I did one here Great Things Posted on Social Media

My mum does the dad jokes in our house, think it was an extra skill she picked up being a single parent

NB: thatโ€™s not a joke

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My wife told me to stop doing my flamingo impression the other day SO I HAD TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN!

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Whenever someone in our household uses the adjective โ€˜wildโ€™ I compulsively respond with โ€œWild?.. they were absolutely furiousโ€

Possibly move to the things you do to annoy your partner thread

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Meringue/no youโ€™re right etc

What letters are in the pirate alphabet?

Aye

Arr

โ€ฆand the seven seas

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My dad does this one a lot :woman_facepalming:

Youโ€™ve only got yourself to blame for saying โ€œmeringueโ€ in his vicinity then.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Pokemon

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I also went to the doctorsโ€™ the other day and he said I had to stop masturbating.

I said โ€œaw, doc, why?โ€ and he said โ€œBecause Iโ€™m trying to examine youโ€.

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When in hospital for some minor surgery, a dad I know was asked whether he had any questions about the procedure.

โ€œWill I be able to play the piano after the surgeryโ€ he asked

โ€œOh yes, Iโ€™m sure you willโ€

โ€œThatโ€™s good, because I canโ€™t play it at the moment!โ€

Boom-tish

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:nauseated_face::nauseated_face::nauseated_face:

why shouldnโ€™t you wear radioactive undies?

because chenobyl fall off

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why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

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