Dad jokes 😐... πŸ™‚... πŸ™„

Before my surgery the anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation

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Hi ether/oar situation, I’m dad

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No one got any good dad jokes?

What is forrest gumps password?

1forest1 :grin:

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Nice

not sure this is a dad joke really - but it made me laugh the other day (with the opening line played completely straight, over text, with a lengthy pause before the next text)

I went to the doctors the other day

They found some lettuce up my arse

turned out it was just the tip of the iceberg

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I did one here Great Things Posted on Social Media

My mum does the dad jokes in our house, think it was an extra skill she picked up being a single parent

NB: that’s not a joke

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My wife told me to stop doing my flamingo impression the other day SO I HAD TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN!

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Whenever someone in our household uses the adjective β€˜wild’ I compulsively respond with β€œWild?.. they were absolutely furious”

Possibly move to the things you do to annoy your partner thread

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Meringue/no you’re right etc

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What letters are in the pirate alphabet?

Aye

Arr

…and the seven seas

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My dad does this one a lot :woman_facepalming:

You’ve only got yourself to blame for saying β€œmeringue” in his vicinity then.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Pokemon

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I also went to the doctors’ the other day and he said I had to stop masturbating.

I said β€œaw, doc, why?” and he said β€œBecause I’m trying to examine you”.

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When in hospital for some minor surgery, a dad I know was asked whether he had any questions about the procedure.

β€œWill I be able to play the piano after the surgery” he asked

β€œOh yes, I’m sure you will”

β€œThat’s good, because I can’t play it at the moment!”

Boom-tish

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:nauseated_face::nauseated_face::nauseated_face:

why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

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I’ve post this one before on DiS but I’ll post it again (repeating the same joke seems like a very dad thing to do anyway):

Dad: There’s a flock of cows over there
Child: A herd of cows dad
Dad: Course I’ve heard of cows, there’s a flock of them right there.

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