Dad jokes 😐... πŸ™‚... πŸ™„

Why is everyone walking on eggshell about this?

Sorry, I’m a bit emulsional

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You’d have to use gloss because Matt was taken

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Someone just messaged me to ask if I knew of any good campsites nearby and I told them to head for HIYAAAA ground.

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OMG where is this from? This would be Xmas present for one of my friends sorted instantly.

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Thank you!

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My dad hasn’t got a nose

How does he smell then

Blummin terrible

Of Trebor Extra Strong mints, Hamlet cigars
The cold on a wool mix suit jacket
When coming home late.
Of water hitting the concrete patio
In summer when hosing down
The garden he worked so hard to plant
Then lost in a turmoil of his baser nature.
How does he smell?
Like promise and disappointment
All collapsed
Like I don’t, and like I do.

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Apologies in advance

image

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Last night I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of fizzy drink…

But it was just a Fanta sea

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Add β€˜β€¦with a penguin’ and I reckon you’re in with a shout to win the penguin joke comp!

My BDSM community took me to court for not being hardcore enough. I got off with just a slap on the wrist.

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Jurisprudence fetishist gets off on technicality.

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Christ

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