#212
1 Like
#213

Thank you!

#214
16 Likes
#215

My dad hasn’t got a nose

How does he smell then

Blummin terrible

#216

Of Trebor Extra Strong mints, Hamlet cigars
The cold on a wool mix suit jacket
When coming home late.
Of water hitting the concrete patio
In summer when hosing down
The garden he worked so hard to plant
Then lost in a turmoil of his baser nature.
How does he smell?
Like promise and disappointment
All collapsed
Like I don’t, and like I do.

1 Like
#217

Apologies in advance

image

16 Likes
#218
2 Likes
#219

Last night I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of fizzy drink…

But it was just a Fanta sea

12 Likes
#220

Add ‘…with a penguin’ and I reckon you’re in with a shout to win the penguin joke comp!

#221

My BDSM community took me to court for not being hardcore enough. I got off with just a slap on the wrist.

13 Likes
#222

Jurisprudence fetishist gets off on technicality.

5 Likes
#223

Christ

10 Likes
#224

This planet.

18 Likes
#225

One of my father-in-laws favourite jokes is the classic dictaphone joke with the punchline, ‘No, I used my fingers like normal.’ It is so unfunny

1 Like
#226

My kids came up with this yesterday with a bit of assistance… why is father Christmas safe from covid-19… he uses hand Santa- tiser

13 Likes
#227

Tried this one on my dad

image

7 Likes
#228

Just asked Mrs F the first bit and she replied ‘cause he’s got Santabodies?’ which ruined it a bit.

19 Likes
#229

Oooh that also works

4 Likes
#230

Trying to work something out with vixen/vaccine here but I can’t pull it together satisfactorily.

1 Like
#231

Could say you’re an anti-vixen then.

1 Like