I see youโve had the same problem.
hurry down my chimney tonight
His elf is very important to him
Heโs had the vaccine cos heโs over 80
I was feeling depressed. So my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said โEarth.โ
That meant the world to me.
Yeah, he says thatโฆ but heโll be telling his mates tomorrow.
That is probably better.
I did the first bit on a friend and he said " because his beard acts as a mask?" I think he was being a bit too literal. But it made me laugh.
Did you know the only member of ZZ Top not immune from Covid etc etc.
Whatโs the most common crime in takeaways?
Assault and battery
My wife just asked me if Iโd seen the dog bowl.
I said โTo be honest, I didnโt even know he played cricket."
What do you give a sick cat?
Parapetamol
Fresh from the cracker:
How does a snowman get around?
By icicle!
What do you give a sick bird?
Parakeetamol
Wow Mrs F is queen of jokes
She really is, but she also hates them and will just say these amazing puns or whatever then just turn away in disgust at herself. Might see if she wants to launch a standup career.
If she doesnโt just offer her a chair.
Tried this one on my parents over zoom yesterday. They enjoyed it
What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers!