Dad jokes 😐... πŸ™‚... πŸ™„

Where does bad light go??
To prism

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10/10 to @HotBeefTrauma for this one. Proper Dad Joke territory

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Went to the pub at the weekend and as I walked past the fruit machine I heard a voice say β€œyou’re a fat chump”, next to it there was a table full of food and I heard β€œYour hair looks lovely today, well done”. I explained what had happened to the barman and he said β€œoh yeah, the buffet’s complimentary and that fruit machine’s out of order.”

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I spotted an albino Dalmatian the other day. Was the least I could do for it.

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I got confused between β€œjacuzzi” and β€œyakuza”, and now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia

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Grizzly walks into a pub and says to the barman, β€œcan I have a pint of IPA and… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … a packet of salt and vinegar, please mate?”

Barman asks : β€œwhy the big pause?”.

Grizzly says : β€œwell, it’s because I’m a bear, mate.”

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This is the actual oldest joke in the book (obviously without the IPA bit)

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Admittedly, it does make my plan B of β€œwhy did the tiger get lost? Because jungle is massive” seem bang up to date.

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I’m thinking of stealing one of these, but can’t help feeling that if I did…

Hell of a punchline!

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I’m waiting…

something about it being too big a whisk?

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I worry I’d be taking a big whisk.

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Why are balloons so expensive?

Inflation

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Surely the punchline is β€œbecause the junglist massive” because those are the official lyrics?

Doesn’t really work otherwise. I mean it obviously doesn’t work unless you’ve heard the song and I guess that boat sailed a long time ago but in its day this was in theory a decent joke (always allowing the worry that some white guy would try to put on an accent and thus bring in a racist angle).

I’ve always said that the hallmark of a fun joke is someone coming along a week after the fact to joylessly pick it apart to an almost ridiculously forensic level.

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Have you seen that new film β€˜Constipation’? Probably not, it hasn’t come out yet.

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I might have left it if you’d not messed up the polar bear at the bar joke too. :wink:

Classic of the dad joke genre from @tuna here

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