#105

I did an amazing dad-ish joke yesterday and then had to EXPLAIN IT TO MY DAD.

We were talking about how some people (very much including him) have a hard time remembering names. I said that yeah some people do, «BUT LET’S NOT MENTION ANY NAMES HAHAHAHA» and he didn’t even get that it was a joke at first. What the hell, dad.

11 Likes
#106

But the whole point is that there’s a thing called ‘nuclear fallout’.

4 Likes
#107

Maybe it only works in English?

(You were probably speaking to him in English.)

#108

Don’t speak to him in English!

You should be paying attention to the teacher!

1 Like
#110
16 Likes
#111

Bought a really shit thesaurus the other day. Not only was it terrible, but it was terrible!

27 Likes
#112

What did the grape do when he got stepped on?

He let out a little wine.

6 Likes
#113

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

NOBODY KNOWS!

6 Likes
#114

Someone said the other day that I could cure all my problems by drinking tonnes of tequila.

I’ve always had to take what they say with a pinch of salt.

8 Likes
#115

At least they’ll get ahead in life.

Because they’re just a head.

#116

They’re all mouth.

#117

Convo at work today
Someone : “why is it the Dutch accent makes it sound like they’re going to spit on you?”
Me: “is it because they’re phlegmish?”

3 Likes
#118

Why did the chef add more thyme to the meal?

in case anyone wanted seconds

5 Likes
#119

Did you hear about the artist who paints with their own spit?

They’re a Phlegmish master

2 Likes
#120

‘[Someone] is dead’

Oh, what did they die of?

‘Lack of breath…’

#121

My dad always says this joke. I’ve started doing it too. Get a guaranteed eye roll from my partner every time

2 Likes
#122

Same here to all three of those.

1 Like
#123

It’s a good day for the race

What race?

The HUMAN race

#124

I made a graph of all my past relationships

It has an ex axis and a why axis

19 Likes
#125

How exactly would you define the term Dad Joke to someone who has never heard of it before?