DADSNET - new forum/newborn (doesn't even rhyme)


#201

Nice feedback and updates, ta.

…Facebook…

We’ve not mentioned anything on there about the pregnancy yet. The only mention was one you’d have to pick out, hidden in amongst an update by MsWza’s mate a few months back. Didn’t get jumped on, thankfully. My folks don’t know the sex, but MsWza’s folks do, and my mum was semi-fretting about finding it out via fb (our parents are, inevitably, friends on there despite only ever having met once in 16 years). Fucking fb, maaan.

Two things - 1.) totally mindful of a mate who had a miscarriage and, as had just been pointed out, complications at birth can happen, so it ain’t done until it’s done & 2.) managing comms stuff is just an arse all round - even just calls and messaging. The due date becomes such a focal point. The lead-in and then days after that are just a daily sequence of nothing updates to parents et al. Although, thankfully, we’re kind of out the other side now and people seem to have chilled out and got to grips with the idea that is totally normal for arrival dates are kinda a random thing during a four week-or-so window. And I’ve taken to deliberately leaving big waits to reply to whatsapp messages so that they won’t twig if they’re left hanging during actual labour. File under: parents forgetting what it was like.


#202
  • Pampers/Huggies etc
  • Supermarket own brand
  • Biodegradable jobbies, Naty etc
  • Re-usables, cloth etc
  • No-nappies from birth (yes this is a thing)

0 voters


#203

Aldi have the best nappies…


#204

yeah aldi are decent.

With nappies it’s a case of trial and error, they all seem to be slightly different shapes and sizes and some were leaky and some weren’t.

in general we used pampers at night time and then aldi or asda during the day.


#205

Hello dads, imminent dad checking in! Due May 21st. We’re at that stage where we’re signing up for classes, Mrs Chuff is off to pregnancy yoga on Wednesday and I’m pretty sure her teacher’s going to push for hypnobirthing too, @sheeldz how was that for you? Anyone else tried it? My only experience of that is a friend who went, and was so amused by a nearby fart that his giggling fit spread across the whole class and the teacher decided to abandon it because the ‘vibe’ had gone. I’m exactly the sort of person who would do this, though I’m not against relaxation techniques per se as having a calm birth seems super important.


#206

Yea, i haven’t updated here either but my second was born in November. Had a home birth which was incredible and I would totally recommend it. When my wife first touted it I was very nervous, as there were some complications with our first, and, you know, not the thought of not being in a hospital freaked me out. When the day came though it was great. Was 12 days late so had pretty much given up on it happening (1st was induced) so got the surprise element too which was nice. My wife was so much more relaxed it was unreal (and i was too after the initial 'oh shit it’s happening here!). Spent a lot of the time downstairs (had some Good night Sweetheart on :slight_smile:) before going up for the main event. Listened to some Kate Bush (2nd record my hand fell on - 1st was Posthuman by JK Flesh which probably wouldn’t have worked as well) and out he came on our bed (my side - mess everywhere but who cares!) AS i said, was just brilliant. There’s a great midwife team in birmingham to support it so check them out if you live here…and elsewhere i’d encourage you to find out.

Been pretty horrific since though - he generally seems to wake up when our 2 1/2 yr old goes to bed then doesn’t settle for evenings/nights. Had a few other issues but that’s for another time and day. Eldest loves him though which is great and lovely to see - but he has played up more also although that seems to have settled down a bit now…maybe!

tl;dr - baby was born at home, was an amazing experence, and now i am more tired than ever before!

Lidl nappies are pretty good, and asda are great. we tried re-usable but it was too much. Didn’t help that everytime wee seemed to escape so a nappy change turned into a full change but yea, we gave up too soon.


#207

Mrs HYG looked into hypnobirthing - she did pregnancy yoga which touched on it, and we have a doula (I know, I know) who’s also a fan, but it just didn’t work for her, she’s much more keen to learn the sciency side of everything and focus on that.


#208

I don’t begrudge anyone getting as much support as possible for all this, if you want a doula, get a doula I say.

Yeah, I’m sceptical and I’m can’t help but feel that without buying into it completely it’s going to be no use at all. Did you do NCT? Or just the NHS antenatal stuff? I’m presuming they’ll touch on relaxation/breathing stuff anyway.

I’m well into the science side of all this, listened to a podcast about breastfeeding recently that told me mum’s nipples can read information from the baby’s saliva about what nutrients and antibodies they need. So wild. (Stuff You Should Know’s the podcast if you’re interested in more wild science about breastfeeding).


#209

I think hypnobirthing is a bit of a misleading term in that it implies a lot of mystical/spiritual stuff when really it’s about a non-medicalised approach to childbirth and trying to deconstruct the idea of labour being dangerous and painful.

To be completely, but hopefully not brutally, honest, my wife found it all really helpful and bought into it in a massive way during her pregnancy but as soon as the labour started it all went out of the window. She had a slightly complicated labour so I’m not sure I’d make any sweeping judgements based on that. Lots of people find it really useful, and for us I think it made us think about lots of things in a certain way - about labour and parenthood generally - that we might not otherwise have done.


#210

We did the NCT long course (signature course?) which we really enjoyed - I was sceptical at first, but you really do get on with the parents to be and I can see that support group being really useful in months to come, as well as all the good advice we got from the tutor. There was a lot about techniques for labour - breathing, massage, etc, so I don’t feel like we’re lacking for that. As Smee said, one constant we’ve been told is that whatever your birth plan is, it has to remain flexible, because you can’t predict what will happen (so better to think of it as “birth preferences”) - I’ve heard loads of women who were all about massage, then when it came to it, they were like DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME. So idk. We’ll take it as it comes :slight_smile:


#211

I loved it. Made me feel very part of the whole thing.

From my own blog at the time.


#212

Good read cheers…

“Did you know that in the early 1900s in the UK birth care that was almost entirely done at home? The disassociation of birth from the hospital was important, because it isn’t a medical procedure. People think it is, but they’re wrong. I made this point at our birthing class just this past week – the mistake is to put maternity units in hospitals”

SO much this. My whole experience (and that of my wife also) was so much better for the removal of all the ‘medical stuff’. My wife in particular was incredible - just so much more relaxed at home. So different that before.


#213

It had to be Pampers to start with, the supermarket ones didn’t cut it. Now we buy any old shit. If a poosplosion is going to happen, nothing will stop it.

We tried with cloth nappies with our first, you can get really deeply into all the different types and liners. In reality it was such a pain in the arse. They do have resale value at least.


#214

I agree to a point, but if the doctors need to intervene, they need to intervene without people pushing for 100% “natural” births and risking themselves. There was a reason many women and children didn’t make it through childbirth in Victorian times. Maternity units just makes the whole thing more streamlined from a monitoring point of view.


#215

oh god yea, no one should ever be pushed into any birth they don’t want. If someone was just worried all the time then they wouldn’t get the relaxed birth anyway, and it would negate the positive aspects of being in your own environment. If there is just a general fear of being away from docs/the hospital or whatever though then i do think it is something which should be seriously looked into and considered. I was in this camp (especially after our first expereince) however i’m so glad i changed my mind.

Also, if you’re in reasonable distance of the hospital it doesn’t make that much differrence to times etc if something goes wrong anyway.

I dunno. everyone i have talked about it to has been shocked and thought we were pretty crazy…yet everyone i have spoken to who did it at home thought it was amazing.


#216

I think it cuts both ways, some people are used to/experienced in a medical setting and therefore a medicalised opportunity for birth is also quite reassuring or just ‘normal’ - just as it is for people who want a home birth setting and feel a hospital birth isn’t the setting they are after. I’d imagine that the DiS-browsing, Guardian-reading vegan lentil-knitters who want homebirths (only joking!!) are in the minority (sadly).

I guess the other thing is that you get satellite maternity units (which are often quite good for natural labours (birthing pools, labour rooms with lots of birthing aides and comfortable seats for partner/tea and coffee/fridge etc etc)) but if you’re in an area like we were, you’ll end up in the massive specialist neo-natal hospital where everything is super-medicalised it’s not geared up for more ‘natural’ or un-medicalised births. Plus so much comes down to the ability and availability of our community midwife, who sadly weren’t particularly great for us with our second (excellent with the first).

also, just thinking about it, there is quite a lot of interesting epidemiological changes in birthing patterns (more multiple births due to IVF, more complex births due to pre-existing conditions and older mothers) so the system also has to account for those changes as well.


#217

This is all why I’m really glad Birth Centres exist - all being well, we’ll be in Lewisham birth centre. It’s in the hospital, so literally second away from the maternity ward, but the centre itself is a de-medicalised space, all midwife run. The rooms look like hotel rooms, with all the equipment hidden away, there’s a double bed in the middle of it all for the couple to use. It seems the perfect mix.


#218

Us too! Did the tour last week, everyone seems so lovely there and the rooms are like a hotel.


#219

Congrats! Ace name and glad it went smoothly


#220

I do biodegradable when we’re out (Moltex, they’re actually the best nappies I’ve used including all the supermarket and brand normal ones, so absorbent), and we do cloth ones at home.