DADSNET - new forum/newborn (doesn't even rhyme)


This is a niche irking so am posting it in here rather than letting marckee and co have at it:

Months ago, when I told my employer my wife was pregnant and asked about paternity leave, I was told all was fine, I would get two weeks. I asked if that would be paid normally or whatnot (not having looked into it or knowing how it worked) and my boss indicated to me that it would be treated like paid holiday, as though I had two extra weeks off, but that he would check with the payroll person and update me (I heard nothing more). Flash forward to when I’m on my paternity leave, on about day four of our hospital stay in fact, and my boss sends me an email saying I need to fill in a statutory paternity pay form, which upon reading, should have been submitted months ago. I filled it in anyway. Today, payroll lady calls me over and tells me I wasn’t eligible for any statutory pay as I wasn’t at the company long enough (literally a week too short). She also treated me like an idiot for not sorting this myself - even though my boss had told me not to worry (not that I had that in writing). Luckily, the CEO has said they’ll honour the stat pay from their own pocket (payroll lady looked like this very thought made her sick). So I’m not overall out of pocket (except the normal pay I was told I had), but still, irked by the experience. It’s not even like I complain properly because I kind of rely on my boss liking me for continued employment so I just have to lump it.

tl;dr, it was my fault anyway, whatever,


Payroll lady sounds like a fucking prick tbh


She has a very odd way of speaking to people. Tone is all over the place.


I don’t like your opening line, and so I will offer you no advice on this situation, other than to comment that you deserve it.


Proper irking that. What if you told them you want to split the maternity leave/ pay as you are allowed to do? Make payroll lady panic real good


Love you too :kissing_heart:

(Don’t worry, I am well aware of my own failings in this situation)


I don’t think I am entitled to do that as I haven’t been at the company long enough? Not sure.


No idea tbh.

Hope baby is all going well anyway. Good lot of squawking?


Yeah, it’s all a bit confusing when there’s so much going on. On the positive side, if my boss had correctly said in the first place “You’ll only be entitled to stat pay so go and apply for it” and I’d found out I wasn’t eligible, I imagine the company response would have been “tough shit”, whereas in the fuck-up it seems they’ve bailed me out slightly.

Baby is squawking plenty, pretty much all squawking, pooing, feeding and sleeping. One month old tomorrow, everything seems on plan, I panicked that she was having a seizure once but I think I was just being paranoid (as I am about everything).


From a breastfeeder’s POV I would try not to supplement with the bottle as Mrs HYG’s milk supply won’t make enough milk as it works by supply and demand, then you will be caught in an infinite loop of having to do bottles even if you don’t want to. If you’re happy with this that’s fine though, obvs, you might prefer to keep a mix of feeding styles, but bottles are too much of a hassle for me and I ditched them pretty quickly (after doing the same kind of routine as you guys to begin with). It is tiring and demanding but it will get loads easier before she knows it, and no matter how much she doubts it she IS making enough milk (a baby will feed from a bottle after breastfeeding even if full, but it doesn’t mean they’re still hungry)


We just used the sterilising tablets in a tank of water. Had it sitting on the worktop by the sink 24/7. Opening the box won’t make the other ones unsterile. We mixed breastfeeding and formula too and it was all totally fine.

One things for sure, your child will be a couple of years old before you know if, and you’ll be watching them pick up toast off the kitchen floor and eat it look back on all that and think “what a load of old bollocks”.


Yes! Since I wrote the above we’ve found things have changed a bit - we’re doing fewer bottles feeds, and Mrs HYG is expressing some as well. No real pattern yet so we might have to fall back on it but it’s not quite as much of a hassle at the moment.


we did mixture feeding with our second after breastfeeding was established. found it to be a real lifesaver with a toddler and meant I could help out a hell of a lot more, and it was also really helpful because expressing was such a time consuming and hard process that it meant that if the grandparents had baby for the evening or something we knew they’d be fine with a formula feed. missus then dropped breastfeeding completely when she went back to work at 10 months and baby just had formula in morning and at bedtime.


Baby monitor question.

Are functions above and beyond yer standard audio monitor worth it? e.g. video, 2-way communication, temp sensor, app stuff, etc.

Or just keep it simple, stupid? Some of the ‘features’ on the more expensive kit seems a bit needy.

(If it makes any difference, we’re in a ‘compact’ two-bed flat rather than a sprawling mansion, so popping a head round the door for a quick check is a very minimal inconvenience compared to schlepping up and down stairs or whatever.)


never got a video one, thought it would be a bit weird because you can hear when they’re up/awake, and when they’re asleep they aren’t really going to do anything visible. We got one with a movement/heartbeat sensor pad which was a nice level of reassurance. If we had a video one we’d inevitably spend all our time checking it. Babies sleep in completely bizarre positions but as long as they’re safe (no loose bedding, breathable bumpers etc) then you don’t really need to check on what they’re up to as long as you know they’re breathing and asleep.

Temperature is quite useful and a couple of times when it was really cold in our old draughty house it dropped below 16 and the alarm woke us up to stick the heating on a bit and check they were ok.

Not sure on wanting to be able to do 2-way communication. Half the battle with sleep/bedtime is getting them to settle themselves and not need you to help them. If you get into a routine of talking/singing them to sleep then it creates a world of pain in trying to break that habit.


We have a Motorola MBP13. It has a bit of gubbins I thought pointless - two communication, temperature sensor, and a remote activation of a nightlight, but we’ve used them all endlessly since getting it. Plus it doesn’t look like shite.

I don’t fancy the video ones.


Justification for the two way thing - works great with our 2.5 yo toddler. Wouldn’t have used it with the baby.


haha yeah I can get that when they’re older. we don’t have a monitor in his (3) room now actually, his little sister has the monitor.


We’ve got a basic sound only one. I vetoed the thinly veiled from getting a video one as I knew that she would check it obsessively. Plus the sound only ones tend to have a far greater range than more complex ones which is useful for us as we’ve only ever used it when staying away (don’t know why you’d need one in your own home, surely you just go check on them?).


We went with a basic one. Well, we borrowed it from a friend, and it was a basic one. Had to give it back recently and went with something similar. Have a separate room thermometer. All the video stuff seems over the top, but guess it depends on your situation.