[Edit: JFC, this is a long and winding despair-rant/mind-dump.]
MiniWza (3yrs 3mths) has been in pants during waking hours (nappies on for sleeping at home, nursery keep the pants on for the nap after lunch and more often than not they stay dry).
Toilet use for pissing has been going well. Next to no accidents, and pretty good at the whole routine in general.
But. Still no in the . And, despite enthusiastic encouragement in various ways from us to just try (reading books on the loo, blowing and doing raspberries, the promise of a choc lolly as a reward, etc), or even just sit on the loo for a while after weeing (with no need to actually do a poo, just to sit there), there’s been way too much “I don’t want to…” hissy fits and general distractedness and ignoring us on other stuff we say, because of hunger and bad sleep. Because shitting only ever takes place into a nappy, after storytime, just before dropping off to sleep. Resulting in more poor sleep because of being hungry, and not eating well at night because of holding out in all day.
Last week, with plenty (days!) of forewarning and opportunity to avoid it, we withdrew TV watching and dressing up stuff, which have become lazy zombie go-to’s (but only ever watching Masha & the Bear, or Peppa, and rotating through outfits after only having them on for five minutes). Just couldn’t be doing with the zombie behaviour and needed to take away the crutches in an attempt to bring things to a head.
Seemed like there were some signs of success with the confiscation approach (an almost unprecedented brief but intense moment of screaming by me in exasperated response to yet another round of “I don’t want to…”, after which I felt shitty) last Friday.
Supplemented by a big three hour nap after lunch, MiniWza was a revelation. Alert, engaged, bright, chatty, willing to sit on the loo for a bit and seemingly try for a poo.
Felt like we were past the worst.
Until today. And the whole moody “I don’t want to…” thing crept back in, with additional needy goings one on top. And a total unwillingness to try for a poo, after weeing.
So. No toys (all taken out of the bedroom and stowed away in the spare room (apart from teds and books). No living room (where the play kitchen and other stuff are). and no TV. Just books, teddies, and crayons.
Seems a bit harsh, and somewhat intensifies the lockdown situation, but the thing of only pooing into a nappy at bedtime has had such negative knock-on effects it’s been difficult to ignore.
No idea how this will play out tomorrow. Kinda don’t want to back down. But almost feels like the withdrawal of stuff is shooting ourselves in the foot, and worse for us as parents than it is for MiniWza, cos we have to deal with an increasingly bored kid, with fewer distractions at our disposal.
Meanwhile, with all that aggro going on, it feels like MiniMiniWza is getting a real raw deal.
[Coda: Typing this all out has made me wonder if MiniWza is holding onto one of the last vestiges of the lazy ease of babyhood, which she’s reminded of by the presence of 6mth old MiniMiniWza, and we should maybe just jettison the nappies for sleeptimes?]