DADSNET - new forum/newborn (doesn't even rhyme)


Think I’m going to order one of those for myself the kids…


This is really cool. £179 though! Ouch.


Cheers. Might pick one up in Covent Garden at lunchtime, or I might not. Keep you guessing.


Talk to me about pre-school/nursery/large volume kiddy depositing venues.

Basically the 3 1/2 year old goes in crying and clinging onto me every day. Has been going since Jan(?) and is still as bad as ever. He calms quite quickly (so I’m told) but think the staff would just say that anyway. From talking to them I get the vibe he doesn’t play much with the other kids and when my wife went to pick him up the other day she peeked over the fence and he was just in a corner of the playground on his own :frowning:

Done all the positive reinforcement stuff, getting there earlier, later. Moved to half days as was originally 8:30 to 3:30 (which seems mental tbh for a 3 year old)

Just think he hates large groups of other kids (who doesn’t!) and struggles with the unpredictable behaviour of other children.

Just gonna have to stick with it, as don’t think it is the pre-school itself (would be the same anywhere) but just a bit sad that on a Saturday he will already be saying how he doesn’t want to go to pre-school on the Monday.

Not sure what I’m after, tell me yours hated it as well. I’m not interested if they loved it :wink:
Just think it’s really unnatural to put kids in an educational setting until they are about 7 tbh, but we don’t live in some enlightened Scandinavian utopia so…


Ours has been going since he was 1, so probably knows no different. I’d love for him to only do 8:30 to 3:30 but not really an option with work. He has Wednesdays off which does break up the week nicely for him.

It was a real wrench leaving him at first, but he does seem to really thrive there now. Still kills me if I collect him and he’s one of the last ones there, or if I see him playing on his own. But he plays on his own at home, so maybe he just likes doing that sometimes.

Hmm. That’s… not at all helpful.

Have you got friendly with any of the other parents? We had a fathers day breakfast thing at the nursery last year, and I just started talking to some of the other Dads and started a WhatsApp group to arrange a get together in the pub. But that has developed into arranging play dates, or just meeting up if we’re going to the swings or whatever. So maybe if a kid from nursery came to yours and they played for a bit in an environment he’s more comfortable with might be easier for them to ‘bond’ a bit (or whatever toddlers do)?


This has made me cry. I will be back in a minute with my thoughts.


£179 is ridiculous.

If someone just invented a simple, well priced lamp that slowly dimmed over the course of half an hour, parents across the land would lap them up. If I ever wanted to go onto dragons den, that’s what I’d do.


That must exist?

  • thinking face emoji *


Little Jimbo cries every time he goes to nursery. He gets over it within seconds, literally. He clings, he cries, he gets upset nearly to the point of hyperventilation sometimes which isn’t fun, and he does it with me and my other half. But other parents, who have been going in as we’ve been coming out dropping off, have confirmed that out of sight is out of mind.


You’d think so, but I haven’t found one yet. There used to be a self dimming bulb that still comes up in searches but shows up as out of stock everywhere. There’s a shop in town which does all sorts of lighting stuff and they looked at me like I’d asked for moon rock when I asked about it.


We’re going through exactly the same thing with our daughter who’s a similar age. Loud, outgoing and funny when with the family she just retreats into herself when it’s pre-school. She was in such a state on Monday the TV actually left her with the grandparents instead. The staff have been nice about it and tried to get her a bit more involved so hopefully things will improve.

The worst thing is that I keep thinking ‘Fuck. She’s only three and a half and she’s already just like me, the poor little sod’.


Hmm. If it was nicely designed that could be a real money spinner…


I think the problem is that the only people who think of the idea are new parents, who are just too knackered to actually do anything about it.


I wouldn’t be concerned about the crying at drop-offs. It’s just a sign of a secure attachment with parents when that happens, and it literally is over in minutes once they get distracted.

I would be a bit more concerned about seeing him in a situation where he looked isolated (my sister is going through this right now- her nearly 5yo’s nursery put up pics on twitter of a recent fun event, and my niece appears to be sitting in a corner looking sad on her own. But ostensibly she loves nursery. So who knows.)
You as his parent have every right to query it though, and you should. Do they have regular parents meetings? If not, request a meeting with the nursery manager and his key worker. Do you think it’s a good nursery? What dose the Care Inspectorate Report say? Hope you get some answers. I


Best thing to do is to disguise yourself as a giant beanbag, break into the nursery on Friday night and position yourself in the reading corner and then just wait. You’ll soon have the full story.


Really? We can’t even take photos at our nursery.


I wouldn’t expect any parents to be taking photos, but part of the paperwork we signed at our nursery was a release allowing the nursery staff to take photos and put them on Fb/ twitter/ local press.
I try to avoid the Twitter feed as the last time I looked, my son appeared to be shoving another child.


Nah, it is helpful. We’re definitely gonna sort the play date stuff as think this could be really good/key. Have got some contact deets off the parents of kids he has been playing with so need to sort.


I know…“pre schools great mate, you’ll have lots of fun!” flashback of how much I hated nursery and being terrified of it the whole time


Yeah, we had a recent parents evening. I was a bit “hmmm,not sure about the staff here” but think I have come round to them more and some are really sweet and seem to make a real effort with engaging him in his interests. Think they probably struggle with the numbers at times to give real 1-1 attention though. At the meeting they said we’re going to work with M on realising that “other children aren’t a threat” :slight_smile: :frowning:
We have a tapestry thing where they take photos during the day we can see. He just looks quite sad and alone a lot of the time. Sometimes looks happy but idk…