DADSNET - new forum/newborn (doesn't even rhyme)


There are some books which talk about it, but it’s not emphasised enough. Also, in practical terms, hospitals want to turn beds within 24-48 hrs of you giving birth (even for c sections) but they also need to tick a box before discharging you to say that feeding is established. If you are choosing to bf then you either have to fib and say “yes all going well” and then go home with hard dry boobs and deal with it all when your milk comes in at home alone, or you tell the truth, and then you are that person taking a bed in a post- labour ward for up to a week, while all of the formula feeding mums get to go home to their families and their own bed. It’s really a no-brainer as to why we have some of the lowest BFing rates in the world. It makes me mad when HCPs spout “breast is best” (which scientifically speaking it is or at least it is the biological norm for a human baby to have the milk of its own species) and then bully or belittle women for their other choices, when the system is set up for BFing to fail. Unless you have a mum or an aunty who can sit by your side for a week or two and show you what to do and explain that most of your worries are unfounded, the baby isn’t starving etc., then chances are you are going to find it hard and give up. Nobody in my family has BF and my mum and sister were quite against it. It’s only because my son and I were both in hospital for a bit afterwards with complications that I had access to the infant feeding team (and a trip to a lactation consultant (£100) after that- not within lots of peoples means at that stage of their life).
As you may have gathered, it boils my piss how women are treated - we aren’t given the tools to succeed but we’re still made to feel shit. I was v lucky that i managed it in the end and it’s one of the reasons we’re still going (he’s nearly two and a half.)


Colostrum doesn’t appear at birth though, and it’s like a waxy glaze (lipids) which eventually turns into yellow milk at day 3-5, before milk starts to look like milk as we know it. Some people don’t even produce any significant colostrum and babies are fine. It’s not something that a baby would drink as it’s more of a goo than a liquid. Kind of hard to explain!


I should also say that it’s possible to induce lactation pre-birth by using expressing techniques on the breasts. It’s not actively encouraged until a woman is full term because there are concerns that it could stimulate contractions and therefore labour. Some women who are in the know have been expressing and freezing syringes of colostrum in the week or two before birth and their milk comes in much faster post-birth, and if there are any complications and the baby needs tube fed, they have a supply. I wish I’d known this!
Anyway, this is not the BFing thread, so I won’t derail any further. Happy to share any experiences over PM though if any of you or your wives/ gfs have any questions x


Were you most annoyed about Fat, Random, or Old? :rofl:

My son, who is only really starting to make sense in sentences now by parroting (he’s a bit delayed) kissed me on the forehead when we woke up on Sunday morning and said to me “love you wee boy”.


It was after reading the back of Bad Dad which said some dads are thin some are fat some are tall etc and he said what are you. I said fat and quite tall. He then said that I’m a good dad and that I’m not too fat and that he is used to me before sucker punching me.

He couldn’t work out why I was laughing so much.

To answer your question I think old.


Shout out to the NCT classes we had. The person doing ours did a great job of covering so much of both the physical and mental aspects of BFing and CS deliveries. And I’ve nothing but the highest praise for all of the NHS midwives we encountered, too. So it’s a huge shame (and was a bit of a surprise, initially) to hear of other people’s feelings of being let down along the way during a massively vulnerable phase. :confused:


My mates son and his friend were on their scooters on their way to to school a few months back and they had workmen working at the end of their road. My mates son says “Hi” to one of them then turns to his mate to explain and says “Oh, I say hello to that fat man every morning”.

My mate - :open_mouth:


The most uncomfortable story my mother tells is of being on a bus with my sister when she was a toddler and there was a woman sitting opposite them and she had a little bit of facial hair. My sister was pointing at them going ‘Man?.. Woman?.. Man?.. Woman?’ before being taken off at the next available stop.


I remember once being very harshly told off for sitting at the kitchen window as a young child, watching the binmen arrive outside, and asking my mum “Why is that man so fat?” I’m pretty sure the dude couldn’t hear me but I deserved the bollocking.




Because I imagine it wasn’t said with a childlike curiosity but as some sort of expression of casual disgust.

Maybe I wasn’t as bollocked as my sense impression makes out. I remember being distinctly told not to say that about people… I guess that’s not same as being told off but I felt I was being told off.

I don’t know man, leave my mum out of it.


I see.


Good Money Saving Expert link, particularly for those with new/first children:

Did not know you could get those Finnish style cardboard cots for free in this country :open_mouth:


I knew they were free in Scotland, didn’t know about the English one. We got ours as a gift, we got good use out of it (and are still using it as a nice toy box even now).


Tail end of a cold, still a bit snotty and coughing a little, but otherwise energetic and normal: ok to go back to preschool?

  • Y
  • N

0 voters


Technically if he’s still coughing then he could be contagious but I would probably still send in this scenario.


Preschool, school - pits of contagion. I’d say as long as it isn’t noro, flu or whatever then it is fair game.


Yep. I am learning!


School has been a bit better but i have never had as many colds as when he started nursery. Although he’s got a cold at the moment but I seem to be immune to this strain.


The Child has had chicken pox all week but she hasn’t actually been ill. I think we could have gotten away with sending her in, although not with the ethical problems associated with her infecting the nursery population.