I’d like to, and maybe I’ll talk to her about starting something in the new year when I see her this weekend. Thing is there are a lot of mental blocks there that need to be cleared away and I don’t think I can help her if she’s not willing to help herself. Do need to keep trying though.
Agree with ^this. My mum is in her 60s and my dad is in his 70s and they are still both super active. A few years ago both of them, plus my oldest sister, ran The London Marathon - I couldn’t even wake up in time to watch it on TV 
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Yeah my in-laws are in their 60s and do loads, go on walking holidays and all that
Yeah I’ve been pushing my mum in this kinda stuff a lot, particularly as she’s a bit of a grump naturally and lives alone. Really don’t want her turning into one of those perpetually angry isolated old people.
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Have any of you got experience utilising part-time care/social care in your family? My gran’s quite independent and can just about get around her flat, but having someone else to take the load off eg helping out with meals or tidying up would really help.
This sounds very positive. Like a lot of older people my nan’s quite stubborn/refuses to admit she needs the help but I think it will really take a weight off my mum. It’s too stressful dealing with all that on your own.
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You will know how to deal with it, it’s just one of those things that you get your head around as things progress, as people get older. But it’s not pleasant to think about. I can’t imagine my mum not being around. Her best friend (same age 75) and pretty much an auntie to me is going down hill rapidly with dementia and alzheimers. Not pleasant to see and heartbreaking for her family but everyone just has to get on and deal with it. There’s nothing else we can do.
My grandma is 105 but sadly is on her death bed at the moment. She was told that she had to be put in a sling and hoist to go to the loo. The indignity and physical pain of it has made her think “Nah I’m done here now “ so she’s started declining over the last few weeks and given up eating. Now bedridden and sleeping most of the time. When she wakes up she’s still all there but speech is very slow and slurred and difficult to understand. It’s pretty harsh witnessing it but fair play to her as she’s so old and don’t blame her for deciding now is the time to check out. Still…
got 2 grandmas left and they’re both in their mid 80s and are struggling
one’s had alzheimers for about 5 years and is in a home now, been visiting her much more since i moved closer and she’s always happy to see me, gives my auntie who does most of the caregiving a pretty hard time tho. bit ashamed that ive only connected more with her in recent years and made no effort as a teenager
other one is physically deteriorating and lives in a way too big house on her own, couple of hours away from any family 
. should already be in a home but my dad & his sisters aren’t that close and haven’t really worked together to push her
Actually quite a relief(?) reading that a lot of people are going through similar things. I don’t think ‘our’ generation really talk about the stresses and strains of having people with increasingly long lifespans in their families. Certainly not something I talk to my friends about.
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My dad is 64 and has got to the age that he gives no fucks. Found out the other day when he goes food shopping he doesn’t unpack his basket, he just sends the whole thing down the conveyor belt and expects them to get everything out of it. Doesn’t see anything wrong in that.
No fucks.
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thanks for the reminder: I am now able to like your thread, and have done so.
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My paternal grandfather passed recently and I’m worried about my Grandma being by herself this Christmas. I can’t go see her until new year because of work
My grandparents have been on a steady decline for a number of years. Both type 2 diabetics and both 20+ stone which isn’t great for their mobility. Grandfather love s a smoke as well so it’s amazibg he’s in his late 80s. Once he smoked while having a heart attack to ‘calm down’ 
. Thankfully all 6 of their children have stayed in the country so they have a good support system.
What worries me is that I’m the only sibling who has stayed in the country, so that level of support won’t be available for my parents who are both over 60 now. They eat well and exercise quite regularly so they hopefully won’t be in bad shape like my grandparents. Still 
I’m one of the peeps who left the country. It feels really bad knowing that any one of my grandparents might pass away soon and I won’t be around.
My Dad isn’t doing great either. I’m going back next summer and I’d like to be able to see all my loved ones.
I do worry about this a lot as I’m an only child who lives over 100 miles away from them. My Mam was quite ill a few years back (much better now, fortunately) and I was going up to see them every couple of weeks, which was pretty exhausting, frankly. My Dad was absolutely magnificent looking after her (unusually for that generation they’ve always been very equal about sharing out the household chores, which probably helped), but I don’t know how they’d cope if they were both poorly.
It’s shit getting old, yeah. But I’d rather my parents get old than lose them too soon.
My mum lost both her parents by the time she was 25. Now that’s shit.
Odd subject to bring up but I’ve always wanted to ask my grandparents (or anyone elderly for that matter) how it feels knowing that you’re approaching the end of your life. Do you look back with pride and happiness or do you look ahead with trepidation. I’m not sure how I’d feel but I’m dreading my parents getting to that age 
Nine or ten years ago I typed up the various accumulated loose pages of notes and memoirs that my grandad had decided to write up. (He passed away two or three years later.) 40-odd pages of minutiae and whatnot, as opposed to grand wisdoms and insight. So I couldn’t in all honesty claim it’s a thrilling page-turner. But there are some nice anecdotes that perhaps wouldn’t have outlived him if they hadn’t been documented. A kind of endearing (and enduring) banality. Not so different from this place, I guess. 
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