Dear Sir

Good on them.

We get several emails a day being “Dear sir(s)”. I fucking hate it.

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Easily fixed - get yourself knighted

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oh man I bet there are some butt hurt white men comments in the below-the-line on that one. do I dare look?

No comments!

The GRAUN is trying to CENSOR our comments. So much for the tolerant left!

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Surely it’s not so difficult these days to find out the name of the actual person you need to contact anyway? Putting Sir (or Madam) strikes me as lazy anyway.

I address all job applications to HR DEPARTMENT.

I put

“To whomsoever it may concern…”

in my best quill pen

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Dear Colleague is my favourite. Makes it sound like you’re already pals

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Sup

Using Sir in any context ever is horrendous.

Alright pal,

Wwwaaaaazzzzzuuuuuupp

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Yo mofo

Hello!

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I like to wind conservative people up by innocently using the bInnen plurals in German. So LehrerInnen for teachers (for people who don’t speak German, Lehrer is a group of male or male and female teachers, Lehrerinnen is a group of only female teachers).

Actually they’ve started to find ways round that now, in sentences where it doesn’t sound so weird. Like signs will say “Studierenden” rather than Studenten/Studentinnen, because Studierende doesn’t have gendered versions (it’s the gerund- “studiers”). Loads of old people ranting about it.

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Here’s some of the ways:

http://geschicktgendern.de/tipps-und-tricks/geschicktes-gendergerechtes-formulieren/

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Reminds me of a recent Frankie Boyle routine where he did an Eddie Izzard style skit about two French men many, many centuries ago sitting down together and deciding which words should be feminine and which should be masculine. It would have been funnier if it was Eddie Izzard, though.

Comrade!

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U mad bro!

“For the FAO Attention Of the Human HR Resources Bloke…”

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