• Take your backpack off. Take it off and put it by your feet
• if it’s a busy train and people are standing as well as seated, the standers can leave the train before you. You chose to sit you can wait
- You! The attractive young couple! Stop cavorting.
- wait for people to get off the train first
- check which end your reserved seat is at
- clear your bloody rubbish away, DO NOT HIDE IT IN THE FOLD-DOWN TRAY THING
People having phone calls on busses:
- Fine. Live and let live.
- Keep it short and quiet and we’re cool.
- Height of evil
• if you’re only going one stop, why not just wait near to the doors of the train? No point getting right into the thick of things is there?
NO PHONE CALLS IN THE QUIET COACH
YES THAT MEANS YOU
NO NOT EVEN SHORT ONES
- Oh hello THE LADS, I see you have brought beers. Well that’s fine but I’m afraid there are some extra rules that you need to read through before you can alight…
- let people off before getting on the train;
- move down the carriage and don’t just block up the entrance way;
- some kind of upper threshold on the acceptable amount of bleed permitted on earphones (I’m looking at you, Apple products)
- A hen do! How utterly charming! Now ladies…
With a friend? Fantastic! If you wouldn’t mind not walking side by side through the station and blocking the entire walkway at a slow pace that’d be really cool
- Don’t play anything out of a speaker
- If your sitting on the seat beside me I’ll already hate you, but sit with your legs in front of you facing forward. Not sideways with your arse on me so you can talk to your mate.
Adults must give way to children at the front / rear of a DLR train, unless they’re prepared to pretend to be the driver.
If you’re sat beside me and you’ve got the aisle seat, the moment a set of seats becomes available, you should move to them.
Why are you still sat here when you could have a two-seater to yourself?
- You; yes you - young couple: when the seatbelt light goes off it doesn’t mean you have to jump to your feet, retrieve your hand luggage from the overhead locker, and stand up in the aisle. The doors aren’t even open, and you don’t even have any steps to walk down anyway. Sit the fuck down
- If your animal/child wanders away from
you and towards me, don’t smile at the situation. Get it away from me, I don’t like it.
Is a plane public transport? Or are you on some fancy ass trains?
It’s absolutely fine to sit on the seat immediately adjacent to your mate. You don’t need to bellow at him from across the carriage: you’re masculine enough as it is.
This is fine as long as they aren’t at the window seat.