Definitive Toast polling thread

Welcome to my poll thread about toast, please make yourself at home.

We’ll start with the basics. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being completely untoasted, 10 being charred remains) how would you like your toast?

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10

0 voters

How many pieces?

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • Absurd amount

0 voters


  • Dry
  • Just butter/marg/vegan substitute
  • Fruit stuff - marmalade, preserves
  • Marmite
  • Tomato ketchup (@jamos)
  • Other (please specify)

0 voters

I voted “absurd amount” because my preferred number of toasts is zero toasts.

Oh that was the right option alright

  • Lightly toasted so it is in the liminal state between bread and toast, butter, and a minuscule amount of marmite
  • I (meaning you) am (are) doing it wrong

0 voters


Scrambled eggs, obviously.

1 Like

Our hypothetical toast is on currently a solid 6.2 on the Ruffers Toasted Scale™, which I would say to be a good solid brown.

  • John
  • Steven
  • £6
  • Wedding

0 voters

I voted “absurd amount” because my preferred number of toasts is measured in loafs

1 Like

Yes I can hear you Aggpandango

also grouping butter / marg together? you bloody degenerate. shame!



So help me lord if we end up with a boring light gold 5.0 on the Ruffers Toasted Scale I won’t be very happy.

I guess I am a low sensation seeker

I mean one’s more of a chore but other than that, give a fuck.

oh right, sorry didn’t realise you were devoid of tastebuds

life must be a hard, joyless existence for you


Well I mean it is but that’s hardly the spread’s doing


Most people only use one or the other interchangeably.

Other: Crunchy Peanut Butter, obviously.

I used to enjoy Fluffernutters, but I haven’t had a jar of Fluff in ages.

Yep, came here to post this. The fucking state of that second poll.

I have never had ketchup on toast in my life (unless we’re assuming some kind of bacon involvement as well?), and I resent the accusation.

I usually go for a THICK SLATHERING of marmite, maybe some peanut butter if I fancy a change (but never together, that would be madness)

I forgot peanut butter! But if I’m honest I usually enjoy pb on sweet things (pancakes and the like)