Delivery fury thread

I live at the end house ronners

I can see about 30% of the gate area from here if I look over my shoulder. To open the gate you go to the side with the latch and that would open up the angle to see the side of my magnificent head.

DON’T EVEN START ME on this. I never order anything online, I rarely buy myself anything at all, but I was given some vouchers for my birthday and I needed some bits and bobs so I thought I’d order them off Asos as I’d had a good experience last time I did that (about two years ago tbh). First time, there’s a glitch so the order doesn’t go through. I re-ordered and it was arranged with Yodel (fucking Yodel). I work from home, and sit facing our front door.

So, I’m sitting there, in the delivery window (both timewise and physically) and I get a notification saying they’ve delivered it. NO YOU HAVEN’T, YOU BASTARDS. So, I go through all the shit trying to get hold of them, phone calls, emails, blah, they tell me it was delivered to a flat (I live in a house). So, some fucker has my stuff. They then said they’d send the driver back to collect it. A day goes by, no news. I call again, get told it will be resolved in 24 hours. Again, a day goes by, no news. I call again, only to be told that that call centre does NO outbound calling and cannot arrange such a thing. So, someone is lying. I am furious by this point.

I then call Asos, and get a very apologetic chap who says he’ll send the order out again. This time it’s coming with DPD, and one of the items is now out of stock and they don’t do replacements. Whatever, fine, give me at least some of my stuff. It turns up at the right time, to my actual house, but the pair of jeans in the pack is a completely different cut, colour, and brand to what I ordered.

FUMING JESUS CHRIST MY BLOOD PRESSURE

Tl;dr FUCK YODEL TO THE HIGHEST POWER

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They’d probably have delivered it to their mate’s petrol station or whatever. I can see my door from my chair, thieving bastards

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I think I need to go for a walk after typing that, I’m so angry.

I’m a really placid person normally but this wound me up so much. This is why I don’t buy or do anything if I can avoid it.

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Old fancy Dan over here with his two doors AND a gate, he probably cudnt get round the Bentley!

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Just add a door to the side of your house, you lazy shit.

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In slightly better news, I am working from home today because I was expecting a delivery. It turned up when expected and I can now relax for the rest of the day. Although the box they have delivered looks far too small. It’s supposed to contain an entire bed. I fear when I open it we’ll discover why it was so cheap.

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Delivery/Username interface

Also, I’m glad to hear your successful delivery tale

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Not quite to scale

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Angle is a bit flatter than that on reflection giving a better view of Balonz (me).

FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY

Question - why did you not use the Balonz gif to represent yourself?

Too angry, Colin.

you are a lot more rectangular than i had imagined

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I’ve been working out.

I am very sorry about the difficulty you encountered.

As per the tracking update and the image I can see that is your back gate so I have called the driver and also left him instructions to re deliver your parcel today.

Our driver will re attempt your delivery today during the later half of the day.

If not today then it will be delivered to you on Monday.

We will do our best to ensure this never happens again.

I mean, technically it is my side gate but you know…

Is that where you apply the bristles on the electric toothbrush?

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This has a slight ring of gloating about it. Please could you respect Balonz’s feelings in future?

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