Delivery fury thread


you are a lot more rectangular than i had imagined


I’ve been working out.


I am very sorry about the difficulty you encountered.

As per the tracking update and the image I can see that is your back gate so I have called the driver and also left him instructions to re deliver your parcel today.

Our driver will re attempt your delivery today during the later half of the day.

If not today then it will be delivered to you on Monday.

We will do our best to ensure this never happens again.


I mean, technically it is my side gate but you know…


Is that where you apply the bristles on the electric toothbrush?


This has a slight ring of gloating about it. Please could you respect Balonz’s feelings in future?


Posty always leave my packages with a neighbour who never answers the door. Had to knock 5 separate times to get the last one!!! Livid.


When’s your wife’s birthday b-money? Is this a life and death situ here?


Yeah, that is a pain in the arse. Leaves it with the retired folks here who act like they have just evacuated you from Dunkirk for holding a parcel. Still better than side gating.


If I was to reveal her birthdate I might look like a petty and unreasonable man. I am not a petty and unreasonable man so I will not.


This happened to us before, knocked on loads of times and no answer and then finally a package of theirs came to ours. They knocked on at 10pm and I answered the door cos I thought it was something important at that time of the night. Fucking 10pm! Can’t believe they’re not aware of the cutoff.


I don’t want to sound like I’m taking an Elon Musk approach to this, but deliveries really are a problem in need of a solution (very possibly involving a network of underground tubes).


Playing your cards very close to your chest itt man, I’m sorry I asked. Anyway enjoy using your wife’s bum dildo on Saturday 1st February.


Reading between the lines, mid-June.


Do you reckon anyone here has use those sucky tubes for sending documents around old offices? My best bet would be @plasticniki


No we do not but there used to be one at Cineworld where I worked for sending cash money to the back office.


They always remind me of Grim Fandango.


Me too



Not deliveries but I did used to arrange appointments and we had a spate of complaints and had to pay £25 for each ‘missed’ appointment. Worked out that at lunchtime each Friday all the readers said there was no access to the rest of their days visits and went to the pub


Thought about going pro and getting a lockbox type thing, lonzinski?