Demanding or Insistent Household Appliances

Do you have any particularly demanding or insistent household appliances?

I say this because of our breadmaker. It beeps for about ten seconds when the bread is done. And if you don’t get to it within about 45 seconds it starts beeping again.

In my dad’s old house, his fridge would beep if the door was open for more than 30 seconds. Not sure if it was set deliberately to stop me from rummaging for sausage rolls etc.

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The dishwasher NEVER SHUTS UP

The gas on the hob makes a squeal like a boiling kettle if you have it on a sensible temperature

Oh the dehumidifier beeps when it’s full up but my partner found a button that makes it beep a lot less than before

Good thread

Our extraction hood above our hob has a timer alert on it that goes off every few months to remind you to change/clean the filter. It’s really annoying because it’ll beep multiple times when you just turn the hood on or off, and I always have to google the complex combination of buttons to press to reset it.

My fridge does this. It is both useful and annoying (not at the same time of course)

The jingle the washing machine makes when it’s done goes on for about three minutes.

The dishwasher beeps a lot when it’s done. Nobody has ever cared about when the dishwasher is done, it’s not like you have to then go hang the plates up outside.


smoke alarms. Silent for months then all decide to beep together at 3am one morning. I NEED BATTERIES! shut up you bastards.


I don’t think it’s possible to trump one of these things

Makes a lot of noise waking up.
Makes a lot of noise making coffee.
Makes a lot of noise shutting down again.
Reservoir contains enough water for maybe one and a half mugs of coffee so needs refilling every single time
Requires descaling something like once a week, and flashes an angry red light at you (which I ignore) to remind you. Manual has loads of dire warnings that you’ll invalidate your guarantee if you use anything other than their descaler too.
Makes a hell of a mess inside, with coffee grounds spread around that haven’t gone in the caddy thing right and coffee leaking out and onto the workbench. Drip tray and ground caddy a real faff to clean.

But it makes me lovely coffee so I always forgive it.


I like to open the dishwasher quite immediately after it’s finished so that the steam gets out otherwise you’ve gotta dry tupperware and plastic cups and stuff.

Also if you’re polishing your wine glasses on the way out

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did I ever tell you about the time our fire alarm went off fully at about 4am, right above our bed? Scared the fucking life out of me, I tell you

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So much this. They never, ever, start beeping during the day, only during the early hours of e.g. Sunday when all the shops are shut.

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Excuse me


quick squeeze of brasso - all done

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This is one of those Jack Sprat and his wife things for us. Mrs F will happily load up the fridge from the shops or sort out the freezer with it merrily beep beep beeping at her the whole time. I on the other hand attempt to beat it to the beep, and if I fail, then that door’s shutting with a terse “shut the fuck up” before it’s got past the first one. Then open again and repeat.

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it’s when you take a tea towel and use the steam to remove the streaks as social convention dictates, else face the judgment of your peers

We worked it out in the end. It’s because our bedroom gets so cold at night in the winter that there’s vapour on our breath. The ceiling is particularly low in the bedroom, which must have set the sensor off.

also when you’ve gotta do it for the fucking Cambridge students to have their fancy subsidised dinners for 7 years else face the wrath of the entitled president of the boat club, you’ll never not notice unpolished glasses or cutlery

My visitors will take their wine in one of the many commemorative Cambridge Beer Festival pint glasses we have, and they’ll like it


I read this in the voice of Ron Swanson


A comparison that I receive a lot, I’m sure you’ll be unsurprised to hear

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another entry for the dishwasher/washing machine club

Washing machine goes for three long, loud beeps when the cycle is done, and repeats this trick every 5 mins until you open it up

Dishwasher … I can’t even remember the details now , but it’s even more irritating