Describe something that exists but in a way that makes it sound like it shouldn't exist

I have two.

I want to set up a start up that delivers the exact amount of milk you need every morning, fresh, on electric zero emission carts in reusable and environmentally friendly glass bottles, that are returned and reused that evening.

I have an idea where all across all communities in the UK we would have a system whereby you register for free to a group, who then have thousands of actual real best selling books that you can borrow for free. No deposit, no credit checks, and minimal late fees. Oh, and it also supports dvds, ebooks, audio books, and free IT services.

I want to be launched in a metal tube across oceans and continents


I would like to set up some kind of system for if you need to get an item to anywhere else in the country in the next few days. There would be set collection points spread out everywhere that could be used for drop off, and a decentralised collection and distribution system. The item will then be delivered to a specified address.

I estimate that I could get this done for about £50-£100 per item and an average turnaround time of five to seven days. For anywhere in the country.

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I mean, this is very far fetched. I’d say that you’d only need around 400 collection points total.

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Guitars that are, like, double guitars


I was just about to suggest this one.

When you spell out the process, the idea that we can do that for 65p is pretty amazing.

A way of being able to listen to almost every single music track ever recorded. Would probably be by means of a hand-held device with no moving part which is about the size of a fag packet

Some sort of flying bus. With enough room inside for you and lots of people. And your luggage. And you can go halfway around the world in less than the time it takes to drive the length of the UK.

Edit: balls. I didn’t read @senordingdong’s reply.

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I have an idea to help us cook and heat our homes. Basically we take the gas that comes out whilst we drill for oil, and we compress it down using huge massive fans, and then shove into long tubes of plastic and metal. These tubes are put under the ground in every single street across the UK, just a few feet under the earth, and kept under pressure. I mean, putting hundreds of thousands of millions of highly flammable natural gas under every single road in the UK and piping it directly into every single house might sojnd dangerous, but I have an inkling it might just work.

Also, this gas in odourless so to make it possible to detect if there is a leak, we’ll have to at some point add a smell to it. Just a suggestion.

Oh, and finally, because of huge rises and falls in demands, we might need to build huge rising towers that can store the gas in every single major town. Maybe like 150 feet tall and 100 feet in diameter? Maybe.


dog that can play the piano


Trying to do this for driving cars, and the whole thing is insanely dangerous. Controlled explosions, flammable liquids, heavy vehicles driving at 60mph with no segregation for traffic or pedestrians. all perfectly safe here guys.

I contend that in the future, when our kids learn we used to drive these machines ourselves, it will be as bad us thinking about driving cars you didn’t have seat belts in, or cars that had to had people with flags out in front of them to warn pedestrians they were there.

You can get pretty much anything you want by sending light carrying numbers across the world

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