⚽ Desert Island Kicks ⚽

Hello and welcome to the first and only charity desert island 11-a-side football match!

Unbeknownst to them, other the past two days @anon5266188 and @shrewbie were not actually picking people to stay on a desert island with, oh no. They were selecting their TEAMMATES in a fun fantasy soccer match! And now it’s YOUR turn to decide which team would be the victors!

The teams will line-up as below.

Antpocalypse XI

Actor Richard Gere

Comedian Richard Ayoade - TV Presenter Richard Madeley - Tennis Player Serena Williams - Presenter Richard Bacon

Director Richard Linklater - Antpocalypsenow (c) - Comedian Richard Lewis - Fitness Instructor Richard Simmons

Philosopher Eric Cantona - Director Richard Kelly

The pace of fitness enthusiast Richard Simmons on the left wing will give Tone’s team a real boost, and having actual footballer Eric Cantona up front could mean that opposition goalkeeper Shrewbie has a tricky afternoon ahead. Trusty keeper Richard Gere should keep things tight at the back, something that cannot be said of him whenever he encounters small rodents. Serena Williams will provide a tough obstacle in central defence but she may be distracted by her defensive partner Richard Madeley.

Shrewbie XI

Shrewbie (c)

Actor Michael B. Jordan - Baseballer Mickey Mantle - cutthelights’s outdoors type mate mick - Skiier Picabo Street

Popstar George Michael - Mickey Mouse - Author Mikhail Bulgakov - Zoologist Michaela Strachan

Mikey from Big Brother 9 - Cricketer Andy Caddick

George Michael and Michael B. Jordan could be an effective duo on the left, and steely duo Mickey Mantle and cutthelight’s outdoorsy mate Mick could prove to be gamewinners in central defence. However, shrewbie’s team may struggle to find the back of the net, as they have a blind man playing up front. They may be further hampered by a cartoon mouse playing in midfield, and his midfield partner Bulgakov will have to cover the best he can.


  • Ant XI
  • Shrewb XI

0 voters

I am serving my notice period at work

1 Like

Woah! Shyamalan twist!!!


Absolutely pissed myself when shrewbie’s first pick was the blind guy from BB9


Think I’ve absolutely nailed it with my Serena and Cantona pics there tbh. Really given me the edge.


Michael B. Jordan does not lose

1 Like

He does when he’s vs Serena Williams mate. Everyone does.

Serena Williams: has lost on occasion

Michael B Jordan:

Serena has also never had to team up with Richard Lewis who is probably the most likely to cave under sporting pressure of any of these people

Andy caddick is a surprisingly tall unit. Reckon he’d be handy in the air

you really fucked shrewbie here mate, I hope you’re happy

Caddick will be decent. Street, less so

Strachan plays dirty and will absolultely demolish the Richards

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can people voting for shrewbie please explain their reasoning

it’s 50/50

Ant’s team with Serena Williams and Eric Cantona and no blind people is drawing with shrewbie’s team

I can’t believe you’ve done this

not the line-up i would’ve gone with
stick mickey mouse in goal please


With this formation shift the choice is clear, sorry @anon5266188.

1 Like

Shrebie XI take the lead!