#145

Me and my mates weren’t like that tbh.

Always thought girls were talking like the do on sex and the city… :confused: :laughing:

#146

I can probably recall about 6 occasions when we’ve even discussed it.

Oh - apart from endless games of ‘I have never’ that one of them used to force us to play. Just realised I actually know everything about their sex lives through that.

#147

Do kids who grew up with broadband just learn what to do and how it all supposedly works from watching porn videos online?

#148

The Tall Guy made the sex look like a ton of fun, which was a rare thing in mainstream movies back then. Still is come to think.

#149

When I was about 8/9 my best friend told me ‘everything’ when we were walking home from school. I just remember him finishing ending with ‘and then the man puts it up their bottom, spins them round and that’s called swivelling’.

And I had an awkward conversation with my Dad. He said something like ‘do you know about how a man and woman make a baby’ and I looked at my feet and muttered yes and that was it. I think I was 12/13.

As for talking to friends about sex. I’ve never even vaguely spoken about it to be honest. Someone I knew said on a Monday at work ‘we’re just trying to find out who had the most sex this weekend’ and I just didn’t answer. He was just a massive dickhead anyway.

#150

The TV and I decided early on to be open and honest from an early age with our kids and be led by them and when they wanted to know stuff.

Distinctly remember taking my eldest, aged 4,to a wildlife park. She was a precocious early reader and was attempting all the signs including one that said PLEASE BE QUIET IN THIS AREA THE POLECATS ARE MATING. This conversation follows -

Daddy what is matting?

Oh, that actually says “mating”.

OK. Daddy, what is mating.

OK so when a daddy polecat and a mummy polecat want to make a baby polecat the daddy polecat puts his willy in her vagina.

REALLY?

Yup.

Huh.

And off we went to go and see the wolves out otters or whatever. Didn’t think anything more of it until years later when we were discussing the mechanics of how her sister was made when she looked at us horrified and said “I thought that was just polecats!”

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#151

Everyone in this thread’s folks seem so hip and sweet and decent about it all.

This was more the vibe at our (very religious) house

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#152

nope they’re quite left wing and that but total prudes
i know about it though!

#153

If this is the case then we’re all fucked.

#154

@anon35496508

Well apparently with the influx of free porn online, this means less teenagers are having sex and less teenage pregnancies - yay, right?

Not quite. It means they all have erectile dysfunction when it comes to having sex with real people as it’s not the same performance as in pornography.

If you’re genuinely interested in this, the podcast called the Butterfly Effect by Jon Ronson is excellent and fascinating about the impact of free porn on the way people interact/have sex now.

There is a story much like @Scagden where a boy who had only seen pornography send some explicitly worded texts to a female friend when they were both quite young and he’s now on the sex offenders register because of it. Cant live in certain places, can’t get a job, his life is basically now over because he saw something in porn and wrote it to someone else without realizing the consequences

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#155

Oh sure, I’m incredibly concerned about it.

#156

Is this sarcasm or genuine? I can’t tell!

#157

Virtually nothing. My therapist has some thoughts on the matter.

#158

100% genuine. I think it’s a huge problem if young men’s formative experiences/knowledge of sex comes from having ready access to porn online.

#159

Oh cool. Sorry I couldn’t read that response :laughing:

It is a great series to listen to as it talks about how the free porn thing came about and has absolutely changed everything in various aspects of life that you wouldn’t have really thought about.
It’s definitely very worrying about how accessible it is for children to see this content and how it must change their way of thinking in sexual relationships.

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#160

There was a BBC documentary on it a few years ago where they got a sex ed expert from… Belgium I think, to go to a UK school and look at the sex attitudes of teenage boys there. Fuck me it was scary what some of these lads were saying.

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#161

I can only imagine.

But what can be really done about it? The free porn thing is basically youtube for porn and things are uploaded by users rather than that actual company so there isn’t much in terms of regulating things and they wouldn’t want that either cause they won’t get their ads/clicks etc so I can only see it getting worse and worse and porn style sex being the “norm” so to speak.

You’d also be surprised at the amount of girls/women who look at porn and what impact that must have on them. You know they see these women in porn having a wild old time and the expectation to perform in that way/style for their partner must be quite great. Theres a good part of that series that talked about women around the age of 22-35 who are just in a no mans land and are pretty much useless in the eyes of the industry cause they’re too old to be teens and too young to be MILFs so it’s kind of portraying to men that women of that age aren’t worthy of sex/attention.

I’m quite fascinated by this stuff tbh.

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#162

It’s all incredibly complex. I mean most content out there boys can access is a nonsense but I don’t know how you can change the industry to regulate the content of it.

Failing that - blanket education of young boys about how unrepresentative most of the content they will find online is.

#164

The gov were planning to introduce an age-verification setting, where you would have to put in credit card details to access adult material online. It was supposed to be introduced next month, but has been postponed, it was pretty ill thought out (what about Twitter and Tumblr? kids will probably find a way round anyway). Don’t know if it will ever be implemented.

That podcast sounds interesting. Does it take into account that easy access to porn being formative for young people can be a positive thing as well in some cases? I’m of the age group that has grown up with with broadband (just!) and it was the first encounter I had with gay sex, having never been taught about it in sex education classes and only hearing about it being shouted as insults on playgrounds. Online porn kind of normalised a lot of things for me as a teenager and I would come to learn years later that a lot of it is incredibly unrealistic

#165

Until I actually started having sex, I think I learned most of what I knew from these girls I sat near in Art when I was about 14 who were having sex with older boys they met at the ice rink, and they used to talk very loudly about sex they were having throughout the lessons. One girl claimed she could have an orgasm without touching herself or being touched, just through sheer will, so I spent a great deal of that year trying to persuade her to demonstrate it.