Nah, me neither mate.

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What Swarfega do you like best?

Swarfega Mega Drive


I like Original, though I will accept orange. In the standard cylindrical container.

I used to help my uncle on various building sites and he had a pump-action dispenser, which was pretty special.

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I like original best as well. Orange from a pump-action dispenser is good when it has bits in it. Interestingly this differs from my opinion on Orange Juice which I prefer to have “no bits”

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I am pro-bits in all orange fluids irrespective of purpose or viscosity.

We differ on this but that doesn’t mean that we can’t respect each other and continue to engage politely


I’m up for discussing our divergent attitudes to bits over a nice cup of tea (or other beverage according to your preference) at any time

As long as it’s not Orange Juice, right! Hahahahahaha!

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Legs wash themselves

if you aint dirty

you aint here to party


get my hands dirty quite often

and my legs

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Do you like the phrase “legs akimbo”?

I agree, I’d enjoy looking at a thing like that


Would you glance at it?

Absolute banger of a tune that, I must say.

Sure, I’d glance at that!



This feels like a great thread for this shocking thing that happened to me yesterday.

So. I parked my bike up in the bike shed, just like every morning. As I step outside, I see one of my workmates and say good morning, walking alongside him. He opens the outside office door and holds it open for me, so I don’t have to touch anything, we engage in smalltalk while this happens. He then goes left to his part of the office while I go right. As I push the internal office door, I see a splodge of brown stuff on my pointing finger. I smell it and it smells a bit pooey. WTAF. I then see that it’s also all over my bike keys. I immediately go to the bathroom to scrub my hands and see if there’s any more on me.

Then. I go back to the bike, check the handles. No sign of poo. This means that the poo incident happened between the locking up of the bike, and the touching of the office door. Between those two points, there is only a shortl ist of things that I touched:

  • My bike key (also pooey).
  • My panniers.
  • My backpack which was in my panniers.
  • My coat
  • The door handle of the bike shed.

I retraced myself multiple times, checked everything I could have touched and nothing had any sign of poo on it. The coat and bag both were poo free. I felt like I was being gaslighted.


Where did the poo come from?

  • Something else you touched
  • Magic
  • You fingered your own bum, and do it so often that you forget you’re even doing it
  • It was on something, but you basically wiped it all up with your pooey hand
  • It had been there longer, but your handlebars are poo resistant
  • Something or someone pood on you between those two points
  • You imagined the whole thing
  • Ice knife
  • Other (explain)

0 voters

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