DiS Agony Aunt Corner


#1

Hi, I’m Cheryl Zafari and am a qualified DiS Agony Aunt. Please, feel free to drop in with any current things in your life that a qualified Agony Aunt could help put right!
There’s a space on my couch, to help fix that ouch!
Thanks
Cheryl Zafari


#2

'kin 'ell


#3

HI Cheryl
What’s your stance on premature ejaculation?
(Asking for a friend)


#4

I’ve realised I’ve still got a few of the old pound coins. What’s the best route forward here?


#5

Too soon, mate, too soon.


#6

Cut the Queen’s face so no-one will want them.


#7

Dear Cheryl,

Our neighbour has been posting photographs of our summerhouse on various social media platforms. I am worried that he is a voyeur and fear for the safety of my family.

AIBU?

Yours,

Mrs S Wigsoff
Bournemouth


#8

I believe the banks are still accepting them? Maybe exchange in branch, or try putting them in those coinstar machines outside supermarkets, they will probably still accept them!


#9

THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!


#10

It’s important to remember we’re all human, not robots! Premature ejaculation is perfectly normal, though I’ve never experienced it before or anyone I know. I would advise draining yourself dry before ever coming into contact with another human being ever again. HtH


#11

fyi
ftfy
jfc


#12

Oh, marckee, that’s a bit concerning? Is there any reason your neighbour might be doing this, is the summerhouse perhaps too close to their fence, staring directly into their kitchen where they will be in a constant state of disgusting undress? If so, you need to burn it down and send an apology hamper - cigars, whisky (only single malts, no blends)


#13

Hi Cheryl
My neighbour asked me round for drinks on Saturday night and suggested that we could try wolf-banging later in the evening. Should I report him to the RSPCA?


#14

Dear Cheryl Zafari,

I try my darned hardest to be a very positive and approving person, and I have made many friends along the way by adopting this personality trait, but I must admit I find it extremely exhausting maintaining this shallow facade.

Inside I hurt, every day, and I long for some release. Although I realise pain is a fundamental part of the human condition, I fear so much that if I reveal this side of myself to others that they will no longer like me and may turn against me.

I have spent so long in this frame of mind that I no longer know who my true self is any more, and fear it is now too late to find an identity of my own. I just want to be Dave again, for better or worse. That is who I came into this world as and I feel I have abandoned him for so long now I may never get him back.

Anyway, hope you have a fantastic day!


#15

I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave my office/this branch of costa coffee


#16

Dave, as I’ve always said, each of us owe it to ourselves to work at improving ourselves and reaching our fullest potential. As I touch on in my book, being true to ourselves is one of the main pillars of the Octagon of a successful and happy life. You need to be true to yourself Dave, those that you might lose along the way weren’t worth knowing anyway.


#17

Wow, thank you! It’s been too long since somebody spoke to me in such a refreshingly honest and considerate manner! I can already feel my true self slowly working its way to the surface! I wil remember your words for a long time and I will keep them very close to my heart. It’s now clear to me that my intentions for joining this site were merely to seek validation for this false persona I have cultivated, and becuase of that I now must leave in order to continue my mission.
Farewell, DrownedInSound.com! I feel I have made many friends here and you are all fantastic people, I wish you well in your futures whatever they may turn out to be! Lots of love xxxx Dave (oh it feels so good to just type “Dave”!)


#18

You’re very welcome, Dave. I see big things happening for you in the future!