Good evening lovers! In a surprise addition to your evening, let’s do another episode now! In a minute we’ll meet the contestant looking for their DiS life partner…
@discobot quote Please set the scene…
Hi! To find out what I can do, say
@discobot display help.
What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life. — Leo Buscaglia
Ok let’s get on with the show. Tonight’s contestant, choosing between 3 mystery candidates, is…
My name’s Aggpass. I’m 27 and I’m from Essex via Yorkshire
[polite audience applause]
Has everybody died?
No, just switched over now
Ok fuck it let’s do it anyway. The first question…
You’ve been signed by Sheffield’s friendliest Sunday league football team, managed by yours truly. You’ve ghosted in at the back post and stuck one in the onion bag on your debut. Eager to make an impact and an impression, how do you celebrate your goal
I happen to be an ardent follower of classic footballing celebrations from the annals of time, and one of my favourites is the Icelandic group chant. So I’d look up to you in the crowd and grunt at you until you fall at my feet. Then we could explore the annals of time together.
Well choose a date with me and we’ll be scoring on and off the pitch so we can do this one together and side step the other two contestants
Aggers, who gets the first point?
Well Cilla. While I admire and respect the use of gifs from contestants 2 and 3, they have unfortunately used Liverpool and Manchester United gifs. So on moral grounds, I’m going to have to go with the alround GBOL of Iceland and Suitor 1
How do I get to pick a number, Cilla?
You, pretty lady from the audience, only have to ask. We’ll do the prize draw shortly…
SUITOR 1 goes ahead early doors! Next question is this
We’re off out for cocktails. Unfortunately, all of the staff have been banned from making any established drinks so you’ll need to come up with a new cocktail, and give it name, in order to win my heart. What bounce drink you makin, huns?
I’d go for something classic, but with an edge, just like me I’m taking gin, lime and soda water, but dribbling in a lil chambord. I’d call it the Chambord Dribble, coz that’s what you’ll be doing after you’ve met me.
I love a cocktail, what a night this is going to be. I have been known in the past to create unusual cocktail concoctions using any and every old spirit that is lying around after that trip to Tenerife ten years ago - so I’d ask the barman for a bit of everything, mix it all up and call it the ‘Anything Goes’
A beer and you’ll take me to a better bar next time.
Living for the give a fuck attitude of suitor 3