❤ ❤ ❤ DiS Blind Date: SERIES 2 EPISODE 1 ❤ ❤ ❤

Hello everybody! It’s time to kick off a new series of this absolute nonsense! I will shortly be introducing the first contestant…

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We’ll start as always with some wise words from my rusty assistant

@discobot quote

:left_speech_bubble: If you take each challenge one step at a time, with faith in every footstep, your strength and understanding will increase. — James Faust

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It’s time to meet today’s contestant hoping to pick a perfect match for their mystery date…

Please introduce yourself…

@Squandered!

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Hi everyone! I’m Squandered, Im 33 and I live in Essex!

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Let’s get straight on with things! Here is your first question, and the answers from our mystery suitors…

Get in loser, we’re going ghost hunting! What will you bring on this trip to discover the secrets of life beyond this realms veil?

SUITOR 1: I’ll bring my mate Chris cos he’s into all of this shit, I’ll wait in the car outside, cheers

SUITOR 2: I would bring nice underwear. An acquaintance of my mother’s once reported that her house was haunted by a lusty ghost who felt her up in the kitchen, so I want to make sure I’m ready for some ectoplasmic ecstasy.

SUITOR 3:

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Which of these is winning the first point?

I feel like I know suitor 2 immediately

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Please sir, no guessing. You WILL be ejected.

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A real range of answers! Is this Chris from suitor one’s answer on the board?

Suitor 2 is getting pretty sexy, but suitor 3’s Lego preparedness has won this round.

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The first point goes to SUITOR 3

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Suitor 1 the ultimate wing-person

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Let’s get straight on with your second question

I know, I know, as a Capricorn I should be more of a grumpy skeptic but honestly, I love astrology! If you had to invent a 13th star sign, what would it be called, what would the symbol be, and what would the traits of the person born under it be?

SUITOR 1: I’m a Capricorn too. Could you tell from my previous answer? If I had to invent a 13th star sign I’d name it Steely Dan, the symbol would be a dildo and the traits would be thus: if this is your star sign then you love Steely Dan, listen to nothing but Steely Dan and do nothing but talk about Steely Dan.

SUITOR 2: There already is a 13th sign dickhead, it’s called Ophiuchus and you’ve probably got the emoji in your phone keyboard :ophiuchus:
Ophiuchus is a serpent-bearer and therefore I think we can establish that people born under this sign are hung :eggplant: :snake: :pinching_hand:

SUITOR 3:

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sensing a theme emerging

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Suitor 3 walks away with this one for their great imagery and answer.

Suitor 2 is mean and should check this out Understanding the Zodiac: and why there really are 12 zodiac signs, not 13.

Suitor 1 already on negative points.

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A second point for SUITOR 3. A strong early showing.

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Time for a round of our audience competition, someone pick a number 1-10…

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Go on.

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