❤ ❤ ❤ DiS Blind Date ❤ ❤ ❤ SERIES 2 EPISODE 2

Hello everybody and welcome to another exciting edition of the romantic rollercoaster that is DiS Blind Date!

In a moment I’ll introduce you to today’s contestant hoping to find love…

14 Likes

We’ll start as evet with some wise words

@discobot quote

:left_speech_bubble: Let us revere, let us worship, but erect and open-eyed, the highest, not the lowest; the future, not the past! — Charlotte Gilman

Lol, erect.

15 Likes

Hi! To find out what I can do, say @discobot display help.

OK enough fucking around, please come and introduce yourself…

@JaguarPirate!!!

Hello hello everyone! I’m JaggyP, 30, from Edinburgh and I’m just looking to have a really swell time yknow?

15 Likes

Let’s not get our hopes up, eh.

Here we go with your first question and the answers of our 3 mystery suitors:

I have become quite the cocktail connoisseur over lockdown – what are you making me to wow both my taste buds and my heart? Bonus points for inventing something original.

SUITOR 1: Not being au fait with alcoholic ingredients enough to make a proper cocktail and not au fait enough with non-alcoholic ingredients to make a virgin cocktail, my panic instincts kick in. Hoo boy, I think, rooting through the kitchen… long story short. Cream of tomato soup, milk, a dash of Diet Coke, and FUCK IT a ground up Cadburys Twirl. I mix in a pint glass doing a few pelvic thrusts and throwing shit up in the air and all that business. Top it off with some salt (hoping that the top is properly secured), and I serve it to you with an amiable wink. I want to impress you with my worldliness so I name it “The Famous Shropshire Dry Hump”.

SUITOR 2: I’d make something strong but tasty, the best combination for a cocktail to be honest. I think instead of coming up with something original, I’m going to wow you with a classic, and my personal favourite of an Old Fashioned.

SUITOR 3: I don’t drink, so I know neither what’s in any cocktails nor what most alcoholic drinks taste like. So realistically what would happen is me choosing an assortment of the most colourful looking drinks, combining them into some green-pink ombre monstrosity and hoping it doesn’t taste literally like garbage. I’m deeply sorry. But on the plus side, points for originality, right?

1 Like

enthusiastic crowd noises

10 Likes

Think I’m in love with suitor one

6 Likes

Who is getting the first point?

Take me to Shropshire, suitor 1!

2 Likes

Well Suitor 2 chose a very excellent drink, I cannot fault them for that - but for sheer enthusiasm I have to give it to Suitor 1!

Suitor 3 made a good showing as well but they were lacking a certain something (pelvic thrusts mainly)

5 Likes

THE FIRST POINT GOES TO SUITOR 1

QUESTION 2:

Music truly is the rhythm of life, so what song are you serenading me with a la Lloyd Dobler? (Possibility for instant disqualification for any contestants who haven’t seen the film in question)

SUITOR 1: O Caroline by Matching Mole. I feel I can detect my romantic sensibilities in there, and I imagine the calming mellotrons would offset any public disturbance claims pursued by your neighbours.

SUITOR 2: I am afraid I may be a candidate for instant disqualification on this, I hope my other answers can go some way to my redemption.

SUITOR 3: Ah yes, that guy from that film I definitely didn’t have to google. This is going well, isn’t it? Look, standing outside someone’s house playing loud music is anti-social and embarrassing and if I’m honest, I’m not one for big displays of emotion, so I’m going with John Cage’s 4’33".

Also given this, dare I dream …?

4 Likes

Can’t believe you’ve guessed already!

1 Like

Where is the second point going please @JaguarPirate

Well I have to say calming mellotrons have captured my imagination, but I am concerned about even that much noise waking the numerous children/dogs in the building.

So Suitor 3 comes in with a very romantically respectful solution! Though I do fear they might seem slightly threatening to any passers by …

(Suitor 2 let’s see if you have a sprint finish in you)

2 Likes