#14

IT came from the Hot Tub

#15

At a distance the tub’s horizon portrayed the top edge of a hat, appearing to fizz in the dusk as gallons of piss sprayed at full force towards the sky

2 Likes
#16

He died

1 Like
#17

of excitement when

1 Like
#18

his favourite squirrel

#19

He realized the piss was coming not from an intruder but his long lost puppy ‘Sparks’

#20

Sparks and the squirrel squared up in an epic battle for Balonz’s affection

#21

but the puppy’s brother ‘Marx’ was nowhere to be seen

#22

For fucks sake, his internal monologue gasped at the lack of continuity his evening seemed to have

7 Likes
#23

As the fight intensified it dawned on Balonz that the Squirrel could’ve murdered ‘Marx’

He began cheering with all his might ‘Sparks! Sparks! Sparks!’

#24

The dog then bit the squirrels knob off and ate it

2 Likes
#25

The stream of piss was replaced with blood

#26

with the knob removed, the door to the cage was now wide open

#27

The dog, whose name was also Marx, showed with his jaws alone a comprehensive understanding of Hegelian phenomenology. This pleased Balonz greatly as a wandering taxicab man could only know, the finer points of predestination were often lost on the patrons of Frensham Ponds. This was to be quite a night.

1 Like
#28

“MARX!” Balonz screamed with the excitement of a whale having a whale of a time

“MARX U SEXY DOGE! COME HERE” he said, continuing to make good on his vowel of incorporating more memes in his daily life

#29

then they all fucekd

5 Likes
#30

It was at this point that Balonz had realised that he was in fact daydreaming. He rocks back in his chair, with his switch tossed aside on the floor bathed in red wine, sweat pouring caressing his cheeks. He hears a knock on his chamber door

#31

“BALONZ? ARE YOU IN THERE?”

#32

“BALONZZ?!?!?!?!?!?!?” shreeked the voice

#33

He remembered his vow of silence and went back to bed