DiSer AMAs #29: Smee

Ask @eems anything!!!

Previous AMAs:

  1. DiSer AMAs #1: japes
  2. DiSer AMAs #2: hip_young_gunslinger
  3. DiSer AMAs #3: jazzballet
  4. DiSer AMAs #4: imaperv
  5. DiSer AMAs #5: grievoustim
  6. DiSer AMAs #6: DarwinBabe
  7. DiSer AMAs #7: colossalhorse
  8. DiSer AMAs #8: elthamsmateowen
  9. DiSer AMAs #9: twentynine
  10. DiSer AMAs #10: carmen
  11. DiSer AMAs #11: ericthefourth
  12. DiSer AMAs #12: whiterussian
  13. DiSer AMAs #13: Flashinglight
  14. DiSer AMAs #14: manches-brute
  15. DiSer AMAs #15: xylo
  16. DiSer AMAs #16: laelfy
  17. DiSer AMAs #17: colon_closed_bracket
  18. DiSer AMAs #18: Shoebox1976uk
  19. DiSer AMAs #19: profk
  20. DiSer AMAs #20: Tilly
  21. DiSer AMAs #21: ma0sm
  22. DiSer AMAs #22: Witches
  23. DiSer AMAs #23: plasticniki
  24. DiSer AMAs #24: colinzealuk
  25. DiSer AMAs #25: Severed799
  26. DiSer AMAs #26: TKC
  27. DiSer AMAs #27: PocketMouse
  28. DiSer AMAs #28: antpocalypsenow

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hello smee! do you have a favourite piece of banjo music, and have you ever damaged your banjo string?


Alright smee! Did you ever find out what was up?

Hi Smee!

Any plans for the weekend?

Hello Smee, are there any physical fights with meths that you can tell us about from your childhood please?


If you could go back in time to any era (you’re allowed to take your family I guess), where’d you go?

Hi @eems

You’re at Marwell Zoo. It’s a sunny July day and you are merrily wandering around looking at all of the animals.

From nowhere, you hear this voice. “Hey… You… Mr Smee,” it calls from within the enclosure. “Yes, you. Turn around and come this way. I need your help.”

You walk towards the enclosure where a sad-eyed snow leopard has his face pressed up to the fence. “Listen,” says the snow leopard, “I need your help. I’m going crazy in here. I need you to rescue me. And I need you to rescue some of my friends.”

Suddenly, all eyes are on you. Giraffes, monkeys, penguins, rhinos, and so on. All with the same mournful expression. You are their Messiah, Smee, their portal into a world of freedom.

Under the bush in front of you is an overall (to disguise you as a park warden), an assortment of tools to help you get into and out of the various enclosures, and five leashes.

You can rescue five animals from Marwell Zoo. Which ones do you choose? (NOTE: once released, the animals will live with you for a year before being successfully released into the wild. You will be provided with ample outside space for the animals to roam, and you can rest assured that the animals will not kill each other (or you) during their stay).


Hi @eems!

If someone gave you the ability to understand and speak any other language in the world…but took away all your knowledge/ability to learn your mother tongue (which I am presuming is English), would you do it?

Hi smee!

  1. out of 10, how funny do you find it when people make puns on your name on here?
  2. any opinions/anecdotes about dew?

hi eric.
hmm that is a doozy. the correct answer is no I don’t. however, I have recently been re-listening to Fromage by The Water Tower Bucket Boys quite a lot and very much enjoying the banjo break.
second question - thankfully not!

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That would be an ecumenical matter

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Sup. Yes! My father in law is arriving today at 3pm so playing bridge with him and the wife on friday night, then I’m going to Newcastle for a family party on saturday night - a joint 50th/18th for my cousin and his son. Really looking forward to it actually

When was the last time you used BluTac?

Ah that sounds good man, always wondered how bridge works, got into backgammon a couple of years back so maybe I could get into other old man games.

wow that must be a long trip up from London!

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the one that springs to mind is this time I’d said something to wind him up again and again and again and he pinned me to the floor and held this biscuit tin that had weeks worth of crumbs in it over my head and demanded that I take it back or apologise or something and I refused saying “you’re not going to do it, you’re not going to do it” and laughing in his face and then he threw the crumbs all over my face and they went in my mouth and eyes and everything and I went mental and we started punching each other


Which obstacle do you think you would fail at on ninja warrior (if you think you’d complete the course feel free to say so but let’s be real yeah)

I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years and I really don’t have a definite standout preference. It would probably be late Victorian London or Manchester boring as that is. Would go for wartime London but too dangerous.

Hello Smee,

What would you say is your favourite type of cloud?

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Hello @eems,

Do you have a favourite toe? If so, have you given it a name?


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