#35

In terms of my day job, definitely not. I do something very different to them.

However, I also work in the family business and I do worry sometimes about managing to completely fuck that one up once my father ceases involvement for whatever reason.

#36

it also makes me sad to think of any children of mine feeling that they have to ‘live up’ to something. I guess you need to be careful what lessons you teach them about material things and happiness and worth. It’s kind of fraught because as a parent (IME), all that you really want for your children is the thought that they will live a comfortable and healthy life and not be in dire need. So you do your best to provide for them without spoiling, and to give them the tools/ teach the skills to be able to provide for themselves without making them too money-focused, which involves a perilous balancing act I can imagine.

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#37

Nope

My parents went to uni and stuff but never really used their qualifications for anything

Seems like I’m heading in the same direction

#38

I put maybe on the poll not because I’ve ever consciously even considered it, but I because I have wondered to myself sometimes whether the (entirely unconscious) reason I’m doing what I’m doing is to not be in the same kind of areas and hence to avoid unfavourable comparisons and/or the idea that I might be either copying them or something - I don’t have any desire ‘surpass’ anyone’s achievements, but I don’t want it to look like I tried to and failed either. Do think I might on average write longer sentences than either of them though.

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#39

I used to be sort of shielded from this, because my brother was a bad lad when he was a kid, but my sister was the GOOD kid. I always had my brother as the disappointment shield, but now he’s gone and met a lovely person and had a baby with her, so now I feel demoted.

My sister is a teacher and owns her own house.

My brother has a child and a good job.

I have a google home and I’m still trying to complete Fallout 4.

4 Likes
#40

I’d probably feel a bit insecure if I had siblings who are much more successful than me, but I don’t have any siblings so I don’t know, and that’s probably why I don’t particularly care about being successful myself.

I mean everyone wants ‘success’ but I don’t see any appeal at all in wanting to be a lawyer, a doctor, an investment banker etc. I’m more of a ‘do whatever the fuck I like’ kind of person, I don’t feel any pressure at all to go into a specific profession just to live up to something or someone else’s expectations. I guess it would be nice to have an esteemed career and be able to afford to live in a huge house and stuff, but it’s not really everything. I think most people who really aim for that sort of lifestyle do it because they want to prove something to other people, and are often not very interesting people.

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#41

life is weird. Some people would probably love to able to do what I can do well but I consider it all useless stuff and think I’d be satisfied if I could drive a car and have a job

#42

I want to be ‘successful’ and stuff, but I don’t see why being successful should necessarily entail things like the meaningless acquisition of wealth and going into what I’d personally consider to be some boring middle class profession, like the things I mentioned above. There’s different types of successes, not just things that are given a generic middle class seal of approval.

I mean if people seriously want to do those sorts of jobs then that’s great, and they are important jobs, but if people are doing them more for the sake of being successful (or to live up to some parental expectation or pressure) rather than doing something they actually want to do, I don’t see how that can be a good thing even if it means they’re earning a shitload more than they would otherwise.

#44

I don’t think achievements are really measurable against one another. In terms of pure academics and career progression I’d be miles ahead, but I think raising two children singlehandedly is a much greater achievement and one I’m unlikely to ever match.

#45

No. Both my parents worked in retail with only mandatory education and lived in social housing. But I’m very grateful for how they brought me up, and gave me the opportunity to better myself.

I went to uni, work in an office and own a home and car which they never have, which seems a little unfair considering how hard my dad worked to provide for me and my sister.

So proud, grateful and love them to bits.

Also my grandad supported Millwall but my dad chose Palace, so I’m grateful for that too.

#46

Nah, my family are united around the central premise of

“achievement and successes that properly rile racists up”

#47

feel really stupid compared to my dad a lot of the time

#48

have absolutely zero ambition so have never really thought about it tbh.

#50

On the one hand, I’m still alive.

On the other, my dad got to ‘Deadly’ on the original Elite while I couldn’t even dock in a ducking space station.

2 Likes
#51

Nope

Mine both had fairly muddling careers really so I’m not really having to aim that high tho, do get overly jealous by my peers doing better than me, which isn’t a good look.

#53

Whether or not you can make a lot of money with the skills you have is also probably down to luck of the times you’re living in. This is probably a golden age if you’re good with computers for example.

#54

Same. He’s really well read, I can’t debate with him about politics (not that we have opposing views) as he runs circles round me, totally up on current affairs, has an amazing knowledge of history etc. Yet he managed to somehow totally f**k things up so I win on balance.

#55

My parents didn’t do A levels, and neither did their parents, so I’m doing better there.

The FiL is an emeritus professor at Sussex Uni though, so best not to be competitive on that front.

#56

Both my parents have Oxbridge degrees and PhDs. :grimacing:

#57

Exactly this, although I’d say my anxiety about the last bit is more that I’m not living up to their expectations than their achievements. Everything they achieved in life is stuff I’m not interested in (house, marriage, kids).

Definitely not living up to my dad’s income though (or probably my mum’s at a comparable age), which is something I’d like to ‘achieve’