Let’s not talk odours here. Let’s keep it sophisticated.

I’m talking about timbre, tone, rhythm, tempo.

Could you pick your own fart out of a line-up of fart sounds?

Do you have a friend, family member or loved one whose fart you could identify at twenty paces?

Thanks for your time.

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have a nice weekend everyone!

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Mine just fall out of me now, it’s actually awful. Not sure what to do.

I usually just write my name

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I think my farts fall into two camps:

  1. Held in until I am confident that they will be silent and controlled. (For polite company)
  2. Loud deep-toned blast with excellent reverberation notes at the bottom end. (For when I’m on my own)
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Well now we can all die happy.

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Pretty standard repertoire for me mate.

No, loads of variety. Like one of those boxes of chocolates that has a surprise THIRD layer tucked in there. But farts.

AKA ‘following through’

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nutty aftertaste

Too far, too far

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This is a unisex thread.

The more the merrier.

you ever pull your bum cheeks apart then let one rip so that it just puffs a bit of air with no sound at all?

I haven’t, that would be disgusting.

In the earlier days of my current relationship I would try that. ‘I can still hear the gas escaping’.

wtf happened to your name

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It got longer

Like, uh, loud and braaaaaaaappp! -ish.

Are you alright mate?

my son tried to pass off one of his farts today as being mine.

i was so proud

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Not bad, thanks for asking, you?

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