Do you reckon there is a really easy way to put a string of Chrimbus lights around a porch

I have outside power and happen to have a spare string of 80 lights. Whaddyareckon?

Yeah, pay someone competent to do it.

I am competent but I can’t be fucked to shop for gutter hooks or owt. Just want to blu-tac them or sellotape them or something.

Blu-tac, useful for all of life’s problems.

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Will it hold up to the elements though?

No

Does it really matter though?

Don’t want my family to cry on the saviour’s day.

Other days fine?

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Yeah

just get some panel pins or small nails and tap them into your wood.

Fine, maybe I will!

Gorilla tape is good

I have both small nails and gorilla tape without needing to go to B&Q.

Is there no handrail or anything you can wind it around? What kind of porch is this???

Looks great

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don’t put nails in that cause there’ll be holes

Do you think I should just gorilla tape them up then? Guess it would look a bit shit in the day but Christmas is mainly about the darkness.

Got a black smudge to the right of your door. Might want to give the brickwork a scrub

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could tape some string to the roof tiles and dangle the lights off the string I reckon