Does growing older bother you?

I’m sure thereve been iterations of this thread in the past (maybe I’ve even made/contributed to them), but this one really stems from reaching June, which is the month I’ll turn 39.

I have spent my life incredibly unbothered by the idea of growing older, but that proximity to 40 is at the very least making me reflect, and if I’m honest slightly ‘panic’, although not in a way that’s particularly easy to explain.

So, I know these days we range from the late 20s (probably still somehow?) to id guess the road to 70. How do you feel about getting older? Any sudden revelations that occurred as a result? Do you hate birthdays ticking off those years? You been feeling a bit old-man-yells-at-cloud lately?

I don’t think we need this to be SSP but obv be chill.


Hmmm yes and no…

I think, hilariously looking back on it, the time I most panicked about getting old was in my late 20s. I couldn’t bear the idea of being 30 which, now I’m 45, seems absurd.

Anyway, there are some specific things about aging that have bothered me. I was very sad when I lost my hair. I’ve made my peace with it (and grown a beard, obvs) but I do wish I’d spent a few more years with it shoulder length rather than being a coward and having it short cos society and gender and that bullshit.

On the other hand, I set a PB on a bike ride yesterday and I’m still physically fit and active so I feel pretty good about that.


as a concept, not at all

not being able to do anything physical because my body is failing/weak, kinda worried


I’ve definitely kicked into high gear for eg pilates, anything I can do to stay mobile. My mum had serious arthritis early on which bothers me a fair bit.

In fact a lot of what bothers me stems from my folks’ genetics and my likelihood of following in those footsteps


A little bit, yeah. I was fine with 34, 35, and even 36. But now as I know my next birthday I’ll be 37 I’m like…jeez. And yet I’m hanging out with kids who are like 24/25. I don’t even think about it but if I stop to reflect it’s weird.


That said, still got my hair which is mostly still it’s natural colour, got all my teeth. Never broken a bone.

Can cycle a 100 miles. Swings and roundabouts.


I love it

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My hip doesn’t though haha


Yeah I’ve definitely noticed that I feel increasingly at sea talking to younger (as in under 25) people at work or through events/hobbies. Just an element of self consciousness if I overthink

I’m 40 this month. I guess I always assumed I’d be bothered about this, but actually life is pretty good right now.

Not a fan of one of my knees starting to click a lot, though.


One of the more impetuous younger members of my team started referring to me as Granddad Ant last week so I think it’s probably fair to say I’ve been leaning into it a bit


I have simply decided to age in reverse by sporting a chain and getting a tattoo


Not really. Turning 30 was presented as some massive milestone in terms of getting older/becoming a ‘real’ adult, but at the time it felt so ridiculous that I just completely ignored it. By the time I turned 40, I had too much going on (serious relationship, kids, house, work) to be too worried about one particular birthday - and I think most of my peers were in a similar situation one way or another so overall it barely felt like a milestone at all. Now I have 50 to look forward to, come back to me in four years and one month and we’ll see how I feel :grinning: I realise that I’m quite privileged to be in good health, which is not something that anyone can take for granted.

Caveat all of the ^above with an existential dread about dying early and leaving my kids behind - that is literally my number one fear. I’m quite conscious that I am now older than the TV’s dad was when he died after a short illness, which is very sobering. My last two remaining grandparents only died in the past three years, at ages 98 and 100, so I’ve always assumed I’m going to live for awhile but nothing is guaranteed for anyone obviously…

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:smiley: yeah I’m referred to variously as

Work dad
‘Fun uncle’ and worryingly
The Final Boss (which refers to my ability to drink far too much, and has given me quite a bit of a reason to reflect since I recently found that out)


Hahaha topical, I’ve been thinking loads about this.

Yeah, it bothers me a lot and I’m trying to come to terms with it. I’m only 31, but I have this horrible unhealthy irrational feeling that my teens and twenties were robbed from me and I’m trying to get them back.

I’m very sensitive about owning up to my age, particularly around friends who are younger. Constantly stress about signs of ageing, wonder to an unhealthy extent how people perceive me.

It’s not a shallow or ageist thing or whatever, it’s down to a lot of deeper anxieties that I need to sort out. It’s very strange being completely horrified at the thought of getting older but knowing that I need to make peace with it very quickly.


That’s a reference to a early 90s episode of a cartoon makes you feel young?

I’m so young and hip that I have literally no idea what you’re talking about here.

Oh the simpsons. No it’s a reference to the coolest team in the coolest quiz on telly (coming autumn 2023)

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Did when i was younger but not arsed now.

90% of my mates and my missus are all younger than me and i’m still the most wanting to go out and be reckless of the lot.

Don’t actually own anything though so i’m kinda relying on i don’t know what in 20 years time

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I’m 40 this year and the reflection thing is something I entirely relate to - feels like the halfway point of working life.

I’m fortunate to be where I want to be and so there isn’t panic, but there is some balking at the size of the task ahead of me. 20+ years is either a long time to be doing the same thing, or I have to be ambitious enough to really reach for something fairly huge… which is daunting in itself with three kids. It was already a lot of effort to get to where I am and part of me wants to chill a bit.

Feels like I have a little time, but not to long, to make the choice between enjoying the comfort for the next 20 years or charging back into battle (that sounds more dramatic than it is) to try and do something extra. Most of life so far has been option B and I’m sort of afraid that option A might leave me feeling unfulfilled… but option B would be a lot of extra work and a lot of free time sacrificed.

Like I said… reflective.


This reminds me, I’m not really a solo pub goer but just before Christmas my fav bar here turned one and had a special birthday beer. I was out Christmas shopping, my partner was away, and I decided to go get a pint of it anyway.

We’re pretty friendly with the owner - opening in December 2021 he’s had a pretty rough run of it so far, and he genuinely seems to appreciate having regulars in.

So we’re chatting away and it turns out he went to university in Kingston upon Thames, so we were talking about various places around there and New Slang etc. Afterwards I realised this guy is like, 24 or something. Our frames of reference for messy nights out at New Slang are so far apart, he was literally a child when I was going there.

(Homer backing into the hedge dot gif)