I’m sure thereve been iterations of this thread in the past (maybe I’ve even made/contributed to them), but this one really stems from reaching June, which is the month I’ll turn 39.
I have spent my life incredibly unbothered by the idea of growing older, but that proximity to 40 is at the very least making me reflect, and if I’m honest slightly ‘panic’, although not in a way that’s particularly easy to explain.
So, I know these days we range from the late 20s (probably still somehow?) to id guess the road to 70. How do you feel about getting older? Any sudden revelations that occurred as a result? Do you hate birthdays ticking off those years? You been feeling a bit old-man-yells-at-cloud lately?
I don’t think we need this to be SSP but obv be chill.
I think, hilariously looking back on it, the time I most panicked about getting old was in my late 20s. I couldn’t bear the idea of being 30 which, now I’m 45, seems absurd.
Anyway, there are some specific things about aging that have bothered me. I was very sad when I lost my hair. I’ve made my peace with it (and grown a beard, obvs) but I do wish I’d spent a few more years with it shoulder length rather than being a coward and having it short cos society and gender and that bullshit.
On the other hand, I set a PB on a bike ride yesterday and I’m still physically fit and active so I feel pretty good about that.
A little bit, yeah. I was fine with 34, 35, and even 36. But now as I know my next birthday I’ll be 37 I’m like…jeez. And yet I’m hanging out with kids who are like 24/25. I don’t even think about it but if I stop to reflect it’s weird.
Not really. Turning 30 was presented as some massive milestone in terms of getting older/becoming a ‘real’ adult, but at the time it felt so ridiculous that I just completely ignored it. By the time I turned 40, I had too much going on (serious relationship, kids, house, work) to be too worried about one particular birthday - and I think most of my peers were in a similar situation one way or another so overall it barely felt like a milestone at all. Now I have 50 to look forward to, come back to me in four years and one month and we’ll see how I feel I realise that I’m quite privileged to be in good health, which is not something that anyone can take for granted.
Caveat all of the ^above with an existential dread about dying early and leaving my kids behind - that is literally my number one fear. I’m quite conscious that I am now older than the TV’s dad was when he died after a short illness, which is very sobering. My last two remaining grandparents only died in the past three years, at ages 98 and 100, so I’ve always assumed I’m going to live for awhile but nothing is guaranteed for anyone obviously…
Hahaha topical, I’ve been thinking loads about this.
Yeah, it bothers me a lot and I’m trying to come to terms with it. I’m only 31, but I have this horrible unhealthy irrational feeling that my teens and twenties were robbed from me and I’m trying to get them back.
I’m very sensitive about owning up to my age, particularly around friends who are younger. Constantly stress about signs of ageing, wonder to an unhealthy extent how people perceive me.
It’s not a shallow or ageist thing or whatever, it’s down to a lot of deeper anxieties that I need to sort out. It’s very strange being completely horrified at the thought of getting older but knowing that I need to make peace with it very quickly.
I’m 40 this year and the reflection thing is something I entirely relate to - feels like the halfway point of working life.
I’m fortunate to be where I want to be and so there isn’t panic, but there is some balking at the size of the task ahead of me. 20+ years is either a long time to be doing the same thing, or I have to be ambitious enough to really reach for something fairly huge… which is daunting in itself with three kids. It was already a lot of effort to get to where I am and part of me wants to chill a bit.
Feels like I have a little time, but not to long, to make the choice between enjoying the comfort for the next 20 years or charging back into battle (that sounds more dramatic than it is) to try and do something extra. Most of life so far has been option B and I’m sort of afraid that option A might leave me feeling unfulfilled… but option B would be a lot of extra work and a lot of free time sacrificed.
This reminds me, I’m not really a solo pub goer but just before Christmas my fav bar here turned one and had a special birthday beer. I was out Christmas shopping, my partner was away, and I decided to go get a pint of it anyway.
We’re pretty friendly with the owner - opening in December 2021 he’s had a pretty rough run of it so far, and he genuinely seems to appreciate having regulars in.
So we’re chatting away and it turns out he went to university in Kingston upon Thames, so we were talking about various places around there and New Slang etc. Afterwards I realised this guy is like, 24 or something. Our frames of reference for messy nights out at New Slang are so far apart, he was literally a child when I was going there.