Does Tesco Express sell stamps?

Got a horrible feeling they don’t

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If you own a printer you can buy postage online and just attach to envelope.

They do.

you’ve got to go to the till and say the code phrase “do you do stamps?”
then they reply with “I’ve only got books of ten is that ok?”
to which you MUST answer “yeah that’s fine, I’ll always use them up”

they will get the stamps from the till. try not to look alarmed by this.

you can optionally make a comment about how expensive they now are - something like “not that long ago a first class was 24p”

there may be some question about “first or second love?”, this is a trick, dismiss it with a “ha ha fuck off”.

rooting for you.


yeah go to the fags counter

You forget the part where you make a mental note to use every last stamp but only use the 1

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or walk away then go to tuck it in your wallet and find the book you bought three years ago.