Done anything passive aggressive lately?

I am the house coffee maker and I made coffee for just myself today.
THAT’LL SHOW YOU for telling me to clean my mess of the table so you can work. You’ve been DONE.

punches air

You?

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i stopped in front of the locked playground on my estate to loudly discuss the pillock who jumped the fence so he could strut about and do pull ups with a neighbour. he had ear buds in but that still showed him!!!

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karate kicks the air

you showed him!!!

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made a massive deal of having to squeeze against a wall to maintain adequate distance from someone coming the other way. actually done this more than once. this lockdown is surprisingly rife with opportunities for pass agg.

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See this is up there with my fave kind of pass agg to strangers. I’ve been doing a super pass agg “OH IT’S OK, I’LL MOVE OVER THEN SHALL I?”

Obvs I’m saying it completely under my breath cause I’m scared of someone spitting in my face BUT THATS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE

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Rolled out of bed to illustrate the fact I had no room on my side

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Sounds straight up aggressive to me.

Nah, I did it whilst smiling

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oh then boy did you show her

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Also, in the pre-lockdown world I was queuing in a bank and some bloke behind me was properly losing his head about how long it was taking calling the staff a “fucking joke” etc so when it got to my turn I did an extremely sarcastic “oh no, you go, it seems like you’re much more important than everyone else after all” and the bloke just took it at face value, thanked me profusely and took my turn. Really backfired.

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A good old fashioned YOU’RE WELCOME after being ignored when I let someone go ahead of me in a queue.

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Loud tut and head shake at the man bun using the outdoors gym equipment in the park despite it CLEARLY being taped off.

He didn’t hear or see me do it, but still.

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Getting progressively louder every time I load the dishwasher as a reminder that, yet again, I am the one loading the dishwasher. Starting to sound like Stomp.

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Also looking forward to performatively not petting the extremely fluffy kitty that bit me the next time we cross paths. Fucking eat that, you adorable bitey cunt!

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My fridge beeps when I keep it open too long and shouted “GOT SOMEWHERE TO BE?” at it this morning.

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There was someone standing too close to me in the Tesco queue yesterday. So I let out an inaudible but potent fart.

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Did I ever tell the story of someone trying to pass agg me?!

I queued up for ages in boots and asked the lady for something I thought was OTC but it wasn’t so she showed me where it was and then went “go back to the till and i’ll ring this up, no need to queue again” so I shimmied past everyone and one bloke was like “OHHH WELL BEFORE YOU, YOU DON’T NEED TO QUEUE APPARENTLY” lots of eyerolling
the lady was like “i was serving her”
and he then went into “soooo terribly sorry, oh i’m so sorry etc” and I just said “that was really embarrasing” , paid and left.

PASS AGGED HIM BACK
kapow

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bashed the vacuum against my housemate’s door several times when i was hoovering the corridor to protest against him not doing much cleaning (and leaving skidmarks in the toilet)

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BOOYAH!!!

It’s my new fave thing to do
just a quiet
“that was really embarrassing”

makes people THINK man

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