Don't make me do the Tuesday/Valentine's Day thread

thinking about what the most painless way to kill myself is. I’m a bit of a coward so I can’t think of any.

We sent each other heart emojis this morning.

They were giving out single roses at Chancery Lane tube this morning. I didn’t take one.

Got home from work after midnight last night and was so exhausted that I slept really well. Perhaps that’s what I need to do to every day to overcome my insomnia.

That just looks like a normal full english that you’ve stacked on top of each other.

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I’m assuming an aerial shot would show it’s in the shape of a heart?

We don’t do Valentines Day.

My friend at work put some heart chocolates on my desk. Obviously I’ve eaten them.

I hope something terrible happens on a Valentine’s Day one year. Not an attack or loads of people dying.

But something like all the manholes in the country exploding at once, with gallons of sewerage pumping into the air and covering the whole place in shit.

That way, the memory of Valentine’s Day can be ruined and we can all get it to fuck off, never happen again.

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Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

  • Dorothy Parker

Hang in there, Bam. This too shall pass.

In that there London with work so went to see my grandma last night (she’s in a pretty bad way atm), then went for a bit of food with my mum, then had a run and swim at the hotel. Stayed pretty restrained at the breakfast buffet and feeling pretty alright now. Me and the TV don’t really bother with valentine’s day, sent her a minion meme via whatsapp

Banned act

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I get Irish a lot.

English people are thick.

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Had 5 hours sleep. How am I functioning.

Might go for a flirt later on.

Alright guys, got my friend’s 10 year old coming for a sleepover later, was going to watch Wayne’s World or Beetlejuice then I heard on the radio that WW is 25 today so that’s that decided.

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Oh you bastard.

I’ve not seen my bf yet but I just want a card with nice stuff written in.
I’ve got him a bottle of gin and I made some pea katchoris.

Imagine being a kid and going out of your way to write reviews like this:

thanks man I just have no future

I have been mistaken for Irish before but that’s about it, i think i’m pretty glaswegian sounding

Valentine’s

  • All the works, out for dinner, flowers, chocolates etc.
  • Nice meal, maybe a card, low key
  • Don’t bother with it in the slightest
  • CWBAFT

0 voters

actually although we don’t formally bother with it Mr S felt bad so told me to buy myself something if I like as he hasn’t done anything - so I got this necklace

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What’s up with that egg bro?

It’s the fact you’ve split it open.