Drive sober

Beer and wine, feeling fine
Wine and beer, don’t drink and drive

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just don’t smoke them on the top at the back at 7:30am! Its hard enough staying awake

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Had a dram?
Get the tram!

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Drinking to the maxi?
Better get a taxi!

One more Dave?

This trumatised me as a kid.

Drive a three-wheeler?
Stay off the tequila!

Cheeky post-work pint, like?
Don’t get on that quad bike!

“Quadruple scotch and soda please”
“Only if you leave your keys!”

Only a fool breaks the two second rule

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Thirty’s Plirty

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Charlie says always tell your mummy when you drink and drive

Be a Bob

Forty’s Morety
Fifty’s Nifty

Was attempting to distract my daughter by thinking of other forms of “ants in the pants”

My wife said “Foxes in the boxers”

I suggested “Bees where you do wee wees”. Unfortunately it was loud in the restaurant so I was forced to repeat it twice more without being overheard and after saying, “Bees where you do wee wees” for the third time I lost it completely and had to giggle to myself.

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