Dungeons & DiSers Part ten: More killing stuff in a castle

Newest instalment of nerdy fun times.

As always, apologies for any errors. And SO SORRY to the team for being very, very slow with this recap.

The cast

Gloran Hopback (@grievoustim) Dwarf Monk
Sir Kelross (@alex.hidell) Half-elf Ranger
Zana Dalanthan (@anon75298087) Wood Elf Druid
Sir Curtas Sulazar (@keith) Human Fighter
Gelanúr (@songs_about_ducking) Half-Elf Bard
Fannloy Roade (@anon67149139) Human Cleric

Previous recaps: Dungeons & DiSers Part one: Don’t know who you are, pal
Dungeons & DiSers Part two: Big Cave and The Bad Deeds
Dungeons & DiSers Part three: Let Sleeping Giants lie
Dungeons & DiSers Part three: Wyvern long face?
Dungeons & DiSers Part five: Back to The Phandalin
Dungeons & DiSers Part six: Shut up and roll the crits
Dungeons & DiSers Part seven: The Linton Gravel Cavern
Dungeons & DiSers Part eight: Staff meeting
Dungeons & DiSers Part nine: Crossbow, Skills & Crash

The story so far

The dwarf Gundren Rockseeker, a close friend of the party, is missing. He’d recently found a map he thought would lead him and his two brothers to Wave Echo Cave; a magical cave that most people assume is a myth.

Gundren and his bodyguard, Sildar, were ambushed on the way to the town of Phandalin. The party rescued Sildar but Gundren had been taken to Cragmaw Castle at the request of The Black Spider.

The Black Spider is a dark elf who wants to find Wave Echo Cave. He arranged the ambush of Gundren after hearing that he’d found the map.

The party have become local heroes after saving the town of Phandalin from a band of mercenaries. They are now at Cragmaw Castle, attacking a tide of goblins.

Part ten: More killing stuff in a castle

WIth an inebriated swagger, Fannloy marched into Cragmaw Castle to join the rest of the Heroes of Phandalin in their ongoing battle against the goblins.

After failing to do any harm to the party until now, the little beasts seemed to be upping their game. Zana and Gloren took a series of attacks that hurt.

Seeing the pile of goblin bodies, the blood pooling around his feet with no sign of stopping, Gelanur’s military past dragged up every horrible memory it could find. Before he knew what had happened, he had run from the castle and fled into the woods.

While Gloren and Zana continued to take hits from the goblins, Sir Curtas swung his sword with devastating effect, cleaving through his enemies in short order.

And it wasn’t long before the battle returned fully in the party’s favour. Zana, in her Dire Wolf form, bit a goblin’s head clean off. Gloren cut one goblin down and after remembering the inspiring song his friend Gelanur had sung him, leapt forward and killed another. Fannloy was making his presence known by throwing sacred flames at any goblin he could see.

Sir Kelross, having put arrows into many of the goblins, strode over some rubble in the south east of the room and found himself in some kind of mess hall. Complete with an angry butcher goblin. He was quickly leapt upon by the butcher and another goblin, taking a chunk of damage from the combined attack.

Meanwhile the rest of the team were making short work of the remaining goblins in the previous room. As the north entrance ran dry of enemies, Gloren ran to the south, leaping expertly over Fannloy and swinging his axe at a goblin. Only to realise he was holding it the wrong way round and landing an ineffective thwack with the axe’s handle. His follow-up punch however, did hit its target and hit it well.

Sir Curtas cut down the final goblin in this room, leaving only the two currently battling Sir Kelross.

Despite him being able to dodge or deflect the attacks from the rank-and-file goblin, the butcher’s cleavers often cut into Sir Kelross. Luckily, Fannloy had made it into the room and gave Sir Kelross some much needed healing. The butcher was peppered with arrows and bleeding extensively, but didn’t look to be giving up the fight any time soon. Gloren soon joined the fray and, with his axe the right way round, dropped the last goblin before charging at the butcher.

Sir Kelross put another arrow into the butcher, sending him staggering backwards with a snarl. The beaten goblin turned to see Gloren’s fist heading for his face. It was the last thing he saw.

Using the benches in the mess hall to rest for a second and heal up, the party looked around at the ruins they were in. They’d hacked their way through so many goblins, there couldn’t be much else left now.

Heading back to the north of the foyer, they found themselves in a storeroom with doors leading left and right. They listened very badly at both doors and heard nothing.

Opening the door to the right, Sir Kelross could see a grand ritual hall, complete with a stone table adorned with various trinkets. Leaving that for a second they decided to check the door to the left. Fannloy used magic to fling the door open and the party found themselves staring at four angry hobgoblins.

Sir Curtas and Fannloy instinctively shot crossbow bolts into the room, hitting two hobgoblins, before Gloren ran forward and closed the door again.

The hobgoblins of Cragmaw Castle were used to the irritating noise and clatter of goblins. They had grown used to living in a ruin that offered little protection from the weather. They were even starting to enjoy the stale food that often passed for a meal. But they absolutely were not going to sit around and tolerate a bunch of adventurers turning up, throwing their door open, firing bolts at two of them and then closing the door again.

The hobgoblins charged out, with the frontrunner swinging wildly at Fannloy. Luckily missing and taking an arrow to the shoulder from Sir Kelross as he did.

Sir Curtas dealt a savage blow to one of them as Fannloy called forth a spiritual warhammer that floated overhead. The hammer swung down and killed the leading hobgoblin as Zana, still a wolf, ran in and bit through another. Two down; two to go.

The third hobgoblin failed to hit Sir Curtas and was felled by the fighter’s sword in response. The final beast took a couple of brutal arrow hits from Sir Kelross before Fannloy’s magic warhammer crushed its skull.

Four hobgoblins dead without any of the party taking damage. Sweet.

Searching the storeroom, they found SIldar’s chainmail and sword, as well as some particularly nice brandy that Fannloy and Gloren enjoyed.

They headed into the ritual hall that Sir Kelross had seen before the hobgoblin scuffle. As Zana went to give the altar a sniff, a goblin in ornate robes and a weird headdress leapt and attacked. The fight was not a long one, with Gloren delivering a savage axe blow and Zana crushing the priest in her jaws until he went limp.

Heavy curtains hung either side of a large stone pillar at the other end of the hall. Peering round like the Neighbourhood Watch, the party felt comfortable that they were alone for now. The room beyond was an extension of the ritual hall, a large empty echoing space with little to no light.

A wall on the east had collapsed and seemed to be the only other way out, so they headed that way. As they did, a grick dropped from the ceiling and attacked Zana.

Lashing out with its tentacles and snapping forward with its bite, the grick began tearing flesh from the struggling wolf. Sir Curtas struggled to get a hit on the writhing monster as it tore once more into Zana. The wolf was badly hurt and struggling against the ferocity of the grick.

Gloren unleashed a flurry of blows with his axe and fists, all of which landed perfectly, as if he were reading the beast’s movements. As savage as the grick was, it couldn’t survive a protective dwarf who’d recently had a shot of brandy.

Needing to get their breath and strength back, the party retreated to the ritual hall and curled up around the altar. Fannloy and Sir Kelross agreed to keep watch while the others rested and tended their wounds.

What more does this godforsaken castle have to throw at our brave adventures? Will they be safe resting in a ruined castle inhabited by all manner of creatures? Is Gundren here? Is the Black Spider here?

Kill count:
36 goblins
9 redbrand thugs
7 orcs
7 skeletons
4 hobgoblins
4 wolves
4 bugbears
1 ogre
1 grick
1 nothic

And thanks again to @anon89873996 for listening in.


Fuck’s sake, what Eric’s username now?


1 Like

Lovely write up - you don’t have to apologise for being slow, you are doing us a favour!


I really wish I’d recorded this part. Fannloy went full gospel IN THE NAAAAAMMEE OF JEEEEEESUSS-AH! as he was using thurmaturgy to blow the bloody doors off.


Don’t think I’ve ever laughed as much as when those four hobgoblins were revealed :joy::joy::joy: Absolute highlight of the week.

And then just shutting the door again after a round of crossbow bolts :joy::joy::joy:


That was genuinely brilliant