Dungeons & DiSers Part Twenty: If you got the money, honey, we got your disease

If you’re looking for the next exciting chapter of this nerdy shit, then this is the thread that you shun n-n-n-n-n-n-n-need, need.

One of the players will be posting the recap again soon :smiley:

The cast

Zana Dalanthan (@anon75298087) Wood Elf Druid
Da’shiel Falconer (@HobbesWhenHeWasNew) Half-Elf Rogue
Gloran Hopback (@grievoustim) Dwarf Monk
Fannloy Roade (twentynine) Human Cleric (absent this week, I hope he’s okay)
Sir Curtas Sulazar (@keith) Human Fighter

Previous recaps: Dungeons & DiSers Part one: Don’t know who you are, pal
Dungeons & DiSers Part two: Big Cave and The Bad Deeds
Dungeons & DiSers Part three: Let Sleeping Giants lie
Dungeons & DiSers Part three: Wyvern long face?
Dungeons & DiSers Part five: Back to The Phandalin
Dungeons & DiSers Part six: Shut up and roll the crits
Dungeons & DiSers Part seven: The Linton Gravel Cavern
Dungeons & DiSers Part eight: Staff meeting
Dungeons & DiSers Part nine: Crossbow, Skills & Crash
Dungeons & DiSers Part ten: More killing stuff in a castle
Dungeons & DiSers Part eleven: It’s murder at the Cragmaw, you’d better not kill the dwarf
Dungeons & DiSers Part twelve: I’m here, to remind you, of the cross Owlbear that you gave to me
Dungeons & DiSers Part thirteen: Cave of mutilation
Dungeons & DiSers Part fourteen: Something about incy wincy spider maybe, I dunno
Dungeons & DiSers Part fifteen: You have 12 undead messages
Dungeons & DiSers Part sixteen: Spy(der)fall
Dungeons & DiSers Parts seventeen and eighteen: Rogue Wave, Cave In and Mega Death, Old Blue Last, 4gp, 3gp NUS.
Dungeons & DiSers Part nineteen: hit me with your quest log

The story so far

There’s something going on with death. Anyone who has been previously brought back to life is slowly wasting away. This Death Curse has affected a wizard named Syndra who has tasked the party with finding its cause.

All that’s known so far is that the curse is being caused by an artefact called The Soulmonger and that artefact is somewhere in the vast, uncharted jungle of Chult.

After being teleported to the vibrant city of Port Nyanzaru in Chult, the party have hired a guide and heard a lot of interesting rumours worth investigating

Part Twenty: If you got the money, honey, we got your disease

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Dearest Mama and Papa,

We began our journey into the deepest jungles of Chult today. Our guide is leading us on a quest to recapture some tribal artefact or other that has special significance to her people. Once this issue is resolved, we intend to continue in our task of discovering the source of our sponsor’s mystery illness. I will warn you that the jungle is both a very dangerous place and an exhaustingly warm one.

Before leaving Narjarm Nooojazzzari Nyanxarri the market city where we arrived, we took the opportunity to visit Sister Syndra for one last blessing. We are doing our best to maintain good standards of chivilary and felt concern for the elderly to be one thing we should demonstrate. The strangest thing happened on our way from market: We chanced upon a woman having some kind of spiritual fit! My colleague Zana aided her with some herbal elf magic and the young woman told us of exciting dreams she was having and visions of important places in the jungle. Of course, you know as well as I that these spiritualists are often very dramatic but she described the situation in such a vivid way that we are considering a journey to help her. We later aided her grandfather, who is some kind of big cheese in their temple of truth, who was being inconvenienced by some group of local ruffians. After chasing them off, he offered to do some of the old book-learning on our behalf to uncover some anicient cities, and hopefully get us a galley ship as a prize. You cannot imagine how excited I am to be on the verge of bein a sea-faring gentleman. It is nearly as exciting as when I became a cavalry gentleman on my seventh birthday, after the sad passing of Sir General Grandfather. I’m certain that Zitembe will become useful to us as a source of guidance in our real quest soon enough, but I am not entirely sure how I reached this thought: Who knows where divine inspiration comes from? Could it be the gods themselves giving us messages or merely some unknowable connection of magical impulses inside our fleshy caskets?

I have become a philosopher in the time since leaving home, it seems! Imagine the look on the faces of those boys you paid to take my exams if they could see me now!

Our first days in the jungle were hard. And warm. I am one of the few members of the family to have tasted freshly-slaughtered dinosaur neck, which will be something to tell our neighbours at the next summer ball. By the time summer arrives, I may have earned enough to repair the moth holes in Papa’s marquee and the mildew on your formal summer daytime ballgown, Mama.

Our guide often refers to my ‘soft hands’ but I cannot understand why soft skin might be considered an insult. Perhaps in this region of the world, the heat makes common ingredients like asses’ milk and honey ineffective against the pressures of the world. I certainly cannot imagine why someone who has avoided manual work might be held in contempt by the people doing that work – what else would they do if they were not working for their lives? Perhaps it is just crude local humour and she realises that I am merely born for better things.

I have learned that I am as good a play actor as I always thought (if only respectable careers in entertainment and dance existed for people of noble birth!) and that I am not as good at hiding as I may have been lead to believe in my early years (although I very much doubt the servants were capable of merely letting me win). I am learning new things all of the time in this warmth.

Yours in respectful, courteous and loving absence,



Brilliant, again.

Oh I needed this today! Brilliant work. :smiley:

Fans of the show, you should know that the party were attacked by dinosaurs and Gloren (Tim) punched one to death. This was after one of the dinosaurs failed a charisma check.


I was so glad that the one I picked on was the dino equivalent of Dwayne Dibley.

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herbal elf magic :sunglasses: