So yeah, I followed @Tuna’s advice to let it rest and @anon89873996’s tip to tap the bottom of it but my bread was just shit. Even the pigeons are turning their beaks up at it which is a real blow cause they eat pavement kebabs and sick but we move on.
Idiot here made the mistake of mentioning it to my Nanna this morning, and was all “yeah no worries, I’ll bring you over some slices, it’ll be nice!” Gotten myself into a pickle now, haven’t I.
Contemplated getting a fancy loaf from a bakery and passing it off as my own, but then I remembered when my Dad went through a phase of only wanting those supermarket bakery cookies that are gooey when he wasn’t very well. So obvs I was like “Father! I shall make you cookies! They’ll be great!” and obviously fucked those as well. So I went to the lengths of buying cookies from a different supermarket, wrapping them in foil and taking them over. Perfect crime, except I’m the worst liar in the world, and was shifting in my chair so much he asked “do you need the toilet? Are you on drugs? What’s the matter with you?” to which I burst into tears and told him the cookies were fraudulent and he howled with laughter at me.
So lying is off the cards. Gonna attempt a cake tomorrow instead. Victoria sponge, that’s what she requested on her birthday last week. I can do a simple sponge. Probably.
The most ridiculous thing about it all is that I can easily follow “difficult” savoury recipes for dinners, it’s the basic stuff that flummoxes me.
