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At least it wasn’t a Costa though.

Just to get to you

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So you’re too good for a lukewarm Ginsters pastie while steering with your knees now?

You’ve changed.

I’ve drank a few units under the table this week doctor, oi oi!

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Read this as ā€˜already prepped all my white lines’. Was thinking, christ there’s a time and a place!

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I had a real debacle in Costa recently too.
Wanna hear it?

Obviously I do.

Do you smoke? Yes / No

If ā€˜No’, have you ever smoked? Yes / No

If you do currently smoke, how many cigarettes or ounces of tobacco do you smoke per week?

Would you like advice on giving up smoking? Yes / No


Alcohol*

1 drink = 1/2 pint of beer or 1 glass of wine or 1 single spirits

MEN: How often do you have EIGHT or more drinks on one occasion?

WOMEN: How often do you have SIX or more drinks on one occasion?

Never  Less than Monthly  Monthly  Weekly  Daily 

How often during the last year have you been unable to remember what happened the night before because you had been drinking?

Never  Less than Monthly  Monthly  Weekly  Daily 

How often during the last year have you failed to do what was normally expected of you because of drinking?

Never  Less than Monthly  Monthly  Weekly  Daily 

In the last year has a relative or friend, or a doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested you cut down?

No  Yes, on one occasion  Yes, more than once 

I think your lies may be going in the wrong direction there man. Just a thought.

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Had a colleague with me so wasn’t deemed appropriate. Now I’m a tezzas car park so going to buy all the finest things they have on offer!

I see what you did there.

So admittedly I probably brought this on myself by going to a Costa coffee on a retail park but it was hot and I wanted something cool.

I wanted a soy iced cappuchino. No problem, right?
PROBLEM as the man taking my order gave my order to the trainee who was also with a trained member of staff who were then all talking about how to make this iced soy cappuchino. 5 mins or so of talking later and they’re getting out the normal milk and some weird contraption (I’m the only person at the counter, have been for some time) and they’re frothing up normal milk. I’m like ā€œerrr whats going onā€ and they’re like ā€œwell the cappuchino needs to have iced froth on top so we froth up the milk and put that on topā€ and i’m like ā€œbut I don’t drink milk, I just want soya milk in itā€ and they’re like ā€œyeah it’s got soya milk in it but the soya milk doesn’t froth up so we have to froth normal milk up to put on topā€ and i’m like ā€œno I don’t want thatā€ and then they’re like ā€œbut we have to do thatā€ and i’m like ā€œjust do it without the frothā€ and they’re like ā€œbut that’s not a cappuchinoā€ and then i’m like ā€œI don’t mind i’ll just have an iced soya latte instead thenā€ and then he starts looking at the price of the soya latte (it’s the same) and then in the end I snap and I’m just like ā€œjust do the soya cappuchino but without the foamā€ and this has caused major confusion for the THREE people making my coffee and in the end of the coffee was shit anyway so dont even know why I bothered

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tl;dr

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Now do you want to hear about my cinema trip situation? It’s fairly similar.

what a pain in the arse. I don’t order milky stuff out because I assume they’ll fuck it up.

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Do I!

(yes)

christ

You should have thrown a poo at them

For context:
Free shitting you say?

The Concourse 3

Woman Furiously Shits On Floor Of Tim Hortons, Throws It At Employees

A woman in Canada was so incensed about something Tim Hortons employees did or didn’t do that she dropped her pants, took a dump on the floor, threw it, grabbed some napkins to wipe her ass, threw those too, and left.

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