Early Filth

Because why not?

@avery provides our conversation starter for today:

So… got a ‘sex cupboard’ or any other furniture dedicated to filth, aside from the obvious of a bed? Has filth ever influenced your choice of bed though?

Currently in my cramped living space I have a single bed, still have an ongoing quandary of whether when I have my own room I should get a double bed just in case I ever somehow have someone to share it with. I like the thought of extra space in the room though by keeping the single, plus I just recently bought some very nice bedding it would be a shame to lose.

AOF (any other filth) welcome, of course.


i dont even have one sex, let alone many sex that would necessitate an entire cupboard


What is sex?

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Baby don’t hurt me.

Unless that’s what you’re into.


how good are you at taking off your trousers?

  • great
  • average
  • bad
  • comically bad
  • tragically bad

0 voters

There’s a sex cardboard box that lives beneath my cardigans and jumpers. It is extremely well concealed now that Ol’ ma Epimer is visiting.


Honestly amazed that this isn’t a Belle & Sebastian lyric.


It’s more of a sex ottoman


When people are round and see that we have separate rooms, if they’re being weird about it I like to make them uncomfortable by saying that it’s not a barrier to intimacy due to the “sex calendar”.

Of course, there is no “sex calendar” as such.

it’s more of a series of notifications and a rota


Syncing google calendars?

Had to dispose of the “box of things” before emigrating for the first time in case customs were like “strewth moite!”


Used to have a big old shoe box full of stuff, my mum accidentally opened it when I was moving house once ffs

These days I’ve got some stuff in a drawer and it mostly stays there


Oh yes. Maximising the odds of achieving simultaneous notification.

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Back in the magazine days, a close friend of mine got into the habit of buying multiple jazz mags from his local newsagent on the way home from a night out. He’d keep them in a suitcase. Once he’d gotten to the point where the suitcase was full, the realisation of the problem and the volume of porn he had would mean he’d throw it all away. Then a few weeks later the cycle would begin again.




Suit trousers: no problem
Slimmer-fit jeans: let’s say that I’d be a really clumsy strip tease act. (Though if I take my socks off first then it’s easier)

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It’s always gonna be slightly clumsy, just like putting condoms on can be or taking off other items of clothing. Just embrace it, sex is a bit stupid isn’t it



There is no sexy way for a man to remove socks, once you’ve made peace with that, none of it bothers you as much.

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I usually remove mine with my feet. But this is more to do with the discomfort of having to bend over (whey) than any display of sexual prowess.