#259

Every time I went to one of these I accidentally got black out drunk.

One time I was with my (now) wife’s workmates and superiors and accidentally got smashed as usualy (the wine waiter who did the formal dinners at that collese knew my name). My (now) wife realised it was all spiraling out of control so suggested maybe I might want to go to the common room for a bit and pretend to have a phone call with some water. After 45 minutes she came to look for me as I wasn’t responding to her subtle messages and found me singing The Beautiful People on Rock Band with three other guys on the other toy instruments.

I was having the time of my life, but in retrospect I realise how my actions were quite selfish.

5 Likes
#260

Sorry

#261

I’m filing this one next to nail scissors, undies + onesie in my “Baffling Kermaworma Logic” case file.

1 Like
#262

I’m trying to visualise this scenario in my head.

Did she do this immediately after you complained? I’d be confused more than anything.

#263

I’ve never heard the term ‘clatty’ before and can only roughly guess its meaning.

#264

You’re well good, mate

1 Like
#265

This is true! I used to work in one of the Cambridge colleges, one of the boat club dinners went - well, as you can imagine - and one of my very skint mates properly sprinted to the hall to volunteer to clean up after someone

1 Like
#266

No one needs to get angry with anyone. I just politely explain that the meal isn’t up to the expected quality and make sure I am clear and concise about why. They can then rectify the situation. We have a contract - give me what I want and I pay the required price. If I’m not getting what I ordered then they need to put it right.

1 Like
#268

i’m so misunderstood :frowning:

#269

fair play to them tbh

3 Likes
#270

:rofl::joy:

Rare lyrical genius on these boards, this.

14 Likes
#271

finger snapping

  • you deserve to be shot
  • fine

0 voters

#272

If someone asks ‘does anyone want the last [shared item]?’ and you want it

  • Say yes, take it. Power move
  • Ask them to half it
  • Point out that someone hasn’t had their share yet
  • Say that it’s theirs. They’ve played you. You’ve been played but you take it on the chin, seething and telling yourself that next time you will get them back

0 voters

#273

asking to sample any bottle of wine under say, 60 quid.

  • terrible
  • i’m very insecure

0 voters

#274

wearing a football jersey to a restaurant

  • fine
  • not fine

0 voters

#275

Went on a terrible date where he did this twice. IIRC I pretended to be sick and left as quickly as I could.

3 Likes
#276

Wait, what do we mean by “finger snapping”?

#277

Clicking fingers to get the staff’s attention

2 Likes
#278

Break the waiter’s fingers cause there’s no avocado in the salad

13 Likes
#279

Oh right! Shit! I need to amend my vote immediately!