Elaborate Things You Do At Work To Keep Yourself Entertained

things
pointless
office
entertained
slow

#1

I’m always within the first five people in the office, so it’s often that there’ll be no-one over my side when I get in.

Along one of the walls are a series of paintings, all hung next to each other. Every few days, if there’s no-one else around, I change the order of the pictures.

I haven’t told anyone that I do this, and while someone did once say “I thought that picture was over there”, they quickly dismissed this as their own mistake.

I plan on doing this indefinitely.


#2

I was trying to do something else but I think I prefer this.


#3

I made a spreadsheet of 10,000 random numbers up to a million. They changed every time you pressed delete. I then produced 12 statistics for them - the highest, the lowest, highest average, lowest average, standard deviation and so on. Then i kept a record of the records, ie the highest highest, the lowest lowest, resetting them all after a while and starting again. Soon I had targets to reach before I could reset - I had to reach 999,998.5 or something as the highest, or 1.5 as the lowest or whatever.

Once I had a list of records to beat, I could work out which one reached the target first, and which one last, and then keep a record of that. If you are interested, “minimum range” won the most times, and “maximum skew” was last the most times. Don’t even know what skew is, but doesn’t matter.

And yes, I was incredibly bored and unchallenged in my old job. Why do you ask?


#4

Sometimes I get so bored that I resort to doing work to pass the time.


#5

– Patrick Bateman


#6

In an old job used to keep an audit of the colours in the packet of wine gums i’d buy each morning. The shocking truth for fans of wine gum equality: there was roughly twice as many red wine gums over the course of the audit than any other colour.

Green got a rum deal too, regularly had 2 or fewer greens in a pack, and there was no greens at all far more often than any other colour… #justiceforgreen


#7

Wooooah - green is easily the best flavour too :open_mouth:


#8

In a previous job I loaded Football Manager 2008 onto my work laptop, created a new persona and across an 8 month period, got through 28 seasons (by some distance a personal record). I created spreadsheets documenting every line-up and result I selected, appearance and goal records for every player, a whole raft of statistics for my entire managerial career as well. Pretty sure I still have all of that bumf somewhere.

In my current role, any time someone’s head pops above their screen I pretend I’m a WW1 sniper in no-man’s land and pick them off with a single shot.


#9

A good way to kill 10-30 minutes is to open MS Paint, pick a brush size of your choosing (the smallest if you have the most time to kill) and entirely fill in a blank canvas using just the brush and trying not to miss any spots. It feels so satisfying when you complete it as well.


#10

Made a football commentary game in Excel.


#11

absolutely ludicrous assertion


#12

@Antpocalypsenow

this is possibly the most ant-friendly content ever made.


#13

Join us…


#14

You can have bundles of fun by editing page sources on Google Chrome. Surprised how many office boffins don’t know. I’ll sometimes bring up BBC News, edit whatever the headline is to, say, ‘Theresa May resigns’, or ‘De Gea set for £40m Real Madrid move’, or ‘Government announces 2019 bank holidays cancelled’, and then change the story, leave it on screen and go for my lunch.

It’s especially top bants with financial stuff. If you’ve got a colleague who has to access bank accounts, etc, jump on their computer and edit the last transactions or balances and watch their head fall off.