Environment quick wins

Ban ironing, there are literally no down sides. They use loads of power to heat up and there is no practical benefit to having ironed clothes of sheets. No need to thank me your children’s children will thank me.
U got any ideas?

Shut down all motor racing


It’s impossible to look like an extremely important business person in the world of business without an ironed shirt, and for this reason: ahm oot.


U wud go to the blackmarket ironers wudnt you, you scum!

I’d hide my personal iron under the floorboards. When anyone asked how I managed to be crease-free I’d tell that lie about hanging my shirts up in the shower.


Blow up the sun then air conditioning would be a thing of the past

pedestrianise all cities and large towns immediately




cease the manufacture and distribution of all bikes and bike related paraphernalia

Burn the rest of the fossil fuels so people can’t use them any more.

Can’t we just unfossilise them? Simple really.

Introduce a point during the day where everyone has to hold their breath for 30 secs, to save air.

Stop making books, you’re killing the rainforests you author twats.

‘Its just a really good non-iron shirt I swear govner’ that’s what they all say put him in with the nonces!


How long can trees live without carbon dioxide? Hopefully more than 30 seconds.

I checked and it should be fine.

ban veganism in order to protect our precious plants and vegetables

My one is definitely feasible though

Carpool to work with Martin and Roy

Seriously though everyone stop eating so much meat

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