Ethical Haircuts (a non-football football thread for everybody on

Asamoah Gyan aka Baby Jet has been found guilty of having “unethical hair” in the UAE where he plys his trade.

This is the latest controversy to hit the player after he was accused of ritualistically sacrificing his rapper friend Castro a couple of years back.

My question to you all is how ethical or unethical is your hair? What’s the least ethical haircut you’ve ever seen?

No.2 on the back and sides, No.6 on top. It’s pretty idiotproof bar brief jitters when they try to square of the ol’ sideburns. Also reduces chat, and means you need three haircuts a year at best. One of the worst traits humans have is lying about the frequency of their haircuts - pretending they have one every four or six weeks, etc.

In summary: Very ethical.

Having a haircut today big man, a month to the day since my last one, it’s fucking unethical I’ll grant you that but it’s an uncomfortable truth.

Get mine done at the local Turkish barbers. Quick buzz, £8 a pop. Sorted.

Here are some photos of North Korea’s approved hairstyles:

I think that mine is closest to the middle row, on the left, on the men’s chart.

one every 6 - 8 weeks

costs me loads - but i can’t leave now as i am legit mates with my hairdresser and it would seem liek a cuss

i have quite good hair tho i think

This guy sounds pretty amazing… How do you have unethical hair? Is he a white guy with cornrows?

I think my hair is pretty ethical. No ‘product’ used or anything. Just left to flop about like a hairdo from an early 90s Indie band…

If you had good hair you wouldn’t need a haircut every 6-8 weeks, it’s only as a result of my extremely bad hair that I have to have it reigned in so frequently

I suppose the nearest approximation is your man in the centre there, but I’m guessing baldies like me would be getting carted off to the work camp.

Number 1 all over for me.

(The most unethical thing on display is the fact that he has a 3 as that’s his shirt number which is completely and utterly inexcusable given he’s a striker)


What’s your tipping policy, big man?

I have an ‘up to the next note unless it’s shit’ method, but it’s being tested somewhat after my main barber put prices up from £9 to £11. Obviously grown-up men don’t carry coins, so it means a quick sandwich beforehand, which i’m okay with. 30%, though…

i meant i have a quite good haircut

although i also strongly disagree with your statement

As you have explicitly invited us non-footballers in here you’ll have to explain that quip, I’m afraid.


Aye, I’m all about “don’t bother about the change mate” which tends to leave them a couple of quid, like you say though, they’re doing me a favour as there’s little worse than an adult with coins on them.

Yeah, but we know what shower gel you use, and why you use it, and God would definitely judge that to be immoral.

I don’t think mine is unethical at all. I was getting it cut about once a year for a while there. I might get it cut short in a week or two but this has nothing to do with ethics and everything to do with looking like a badass. Would it be unethical to have it all buzzed off someday?

The number 3 shirt should be for the side’s left back (number 2 for the right back), traditionally the least flashy and talented position on the field, Baby Jet is a striker so should be wearing 9 or 10

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something something culture of others something

(in all honesty I’d like to at least be thinning a bit)

FO, M.

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I’ve not got to that stage yet.