Even been to Kirkintilloch?

I ain’t.

Yep. Anything you want to know?

Yes, several times.

no but i’ve been this close

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you haven’t

Show me the way to Kirkintilloch
I’ve been cryin’ like a pillock

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yep

oh wait i was thinking of Ibiza

no

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No, but I have been to Drumnadrochit

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Nah I’m good, cheers.

Well I’m here if you change your mind!

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Ok, go on then

Had a good cuppa and a slice of cake in Drumnadrochit

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Several times. You can get a lasagne supper from the chippy.

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I used to work in a bookies in Kirkintilloch.

Battered?

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You’d probably have to be to order that.

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Yes, Wor Lass’s cousin lives there.

had a wee stop at The Stables pub in Kirkintilloch when I cycled to Falkirk. Nice spot.