(Its actually just an office job with the postal service. Gonna stop lying about being a postman now cos its disrespectful to actual postmen)

:bike: :policeman: :email: :mailbox_with_mail: :raising_hand_woman: :house:

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Had a nice evening drinking cans (mines a diet coke) and eating pizza in the sunshine in the park

Now back watching love Island because I am a sucker for punishment

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Doing Ben gibbards taxes is it

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Was trying to think of a good joke to make about this bit you beat me to it. Maybe I should just… give up.

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It started as a mistake.

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It was an honest mistake

Perpetual state of being knackered
Fell asleep on the tube home again :s
Good thing that I get a nice lie in tomorrow NOT (in at 6)
Maccas breakfast may be the only thing to get me out of bed

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Have you ever read The Peculiar Life of a Lonely Postman by Denis Theriault?
It’s really good. It involves a postman and he writes haikus. In Montreal. It snows.

What I’m basically saying is, you need to write haikus (and then post them here) post

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FRIENDS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC NEWS

Absolutely creasing that they buried this in the article

Screenshot_20190603-212502~2

As always, fuck jeremy hunt

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Good book, that.

It has been a few years since I read Bukowski and I worry the way I see the world now might not be kind to him.

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QMUL… Isn’t that the one that found drinking two litres of vodka a day was fine for the bladder?

(Coffee study was by QMUL)

Aston study on weekend risk for CV mortality pretty much consistent with most similar analyses

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Yeah I’m the same tbh, probably doesn’t hold up too well in this day and age.

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Julia Holter has the optimal level of bants

Big Thief are so good.

Bit tired off standing up

Bit quiet on here this eve
`

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Post Office worked fine for me two years ago but a lot has changed in that time. Regardless, he wrote this and that alone is enough of a legacy for me

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going
to let anybody see
you.

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he’s
in there.

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody’s asleep.
I say, I know that you’re there,
so don’t be
sad.

then I put him back,
but he’s singing a little
in there, I haven’t quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it’s nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don’t
weep, do
you?

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About to rewatch Nanette (Gadsby) whilst drunk. Good idea? Probably not. #emo

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Fell asleep, woke up.

Decided to do some prep for work tomorrow and fell into a rabbit hole of a quail map (train maps) searching out funny place names (Sluts Hole, for example between Ely and Norwich) which led to me spending 2 hours writing a ‘comedy’ routine that will probably never see the light of day but references a joke from Best in Show (based on a true story), includes a gag about throwing oxo cubes and ends in pornhub.

I’ll live to regret all of that in the morning.

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Oh btw I saw the film Beats earlier tonight (fiction film about the ban on raves in Scotland in particular) and in one scene they played a fucking Neutral Milk Hotel song!?!? I mean I fucking loved it, but pretty fucking far removed from rave culture I’m sure you’ll agree

Another funny thing was that it had English subtitles, and whenever they used Scottish accent words like «aye» or «wee» (which was obviously quite often), the subtitles said «yes» and «little» :joy::joy::joy: