Ever ended up in the hospital for a silly reason?

I have, many a time. In fact I’m lucky enough that I’ve only had to go to the hospital for silly reasons.

My most embarrassing silly moment was during my cousin’s birthday meal about five years ago. We were at a lovely restaurant, I’d had a kangaroo burger, a few mins later I went to the toilets because I was in the worst pain of my life. Doubled over in there, tears streaming down my face, genuinely unsure what to do with myself. Went back to the table eventually, but couldn’t even sit still cause I was in such pain. Luckily our friend Toni was next to me and whispered in my ear asking if I was alright and I was like “no Tone, I’m really not, would you mind giving me a lift home please?” and cause she’s a gem she was like “absolutely not, grab your bag and coat and I’ll take you now.”

We get to her car and I just burst into tears so pathetically and start sobbing about how it might be my appendix, and I’ve never felt anything like it, and I’m scared. She does a U turn and takes me to a&e and we’re there for hours but eventually get seen and I’m explaining to the nice nurse how this is it, I’m definitely dying, can they at least make me comfortable please. The nurse thinks it’s gall stones, and asks me to stay overnight so they can do a scan in the morning. I then have to be like “oh no, either I keel over now or you give me some decent painkillers and then I hop off on my Merry way cause I’ve got a shift starting at 8:30am tomorrow and they will not take kindly to me not showing up.” We have a bit of back and forth where I’m basically saying yes I appreciate that you’re the medical professional but I owe two months rent so I kinda can’t afford to get sacked actually.

THEN. My very pissed cousin turns up and comes running over to the bed I’m in shouting “my Kermit! My beautiful kermit! My darling angel are you okay?!” and I’m like hang on why are you being so nice to me :smiley: she gets to me, hugs me as if she never will again and whispers in my ear “there’s some fit doctors aren’t there? I’ve got a bottle of wine in my bag if you want a swig babe.”

And then. I get examined again. I’m being prodded in the stomach. The farts start leak out. Very slowly at first but then they just keep coming. And miraculously I start to feel a lot better. I apologise profusely to the beautiful man who was examining me and quickly blurt out that I will be discharging myself cause I’ve got places to be, and he asks me to promise I’ll go back after my shift cause they will need to scan me as it could be quite serious. With an expression of pure steel I’m like “yeah of course I will, thank you so much for your time.”

Toni drops me back at my flat and I did such massive blow offs that I swear I heard the walls of my 70s build shake. Made it to work the next day and never followed it up because it was simply very bad trapped wind from the kangaroo.

Never went back, up until I snorted some dodgy stuff a few years later and thought I had meningitis cause I came up in a full body rash.

Anyway. Your turn!


A younger SunnyB once kicked a wall by accident when practicing for take Kwon do gradings in a small space. Turns out my side kicks are good enough to properly smash my metatarsal when done next to a solid surface. Quite red-faced explaining it the doctors.


Many times.

Some examples that spring to mind:

My brother and I used to play this game where one of us would hang from the coat hooks on the back of our bedroom door, while the other threw stuff at them. The aim was to swing back and forth to avoid the projectiles. One time I slipped, and ended up with a coat hook stuck in my forehead. Many stitches required.

My grandparents once had to take me to hospital with a severely sprained wrist, from playing a teenage mutant ninja turtles arcade game.

Once swallowed a balloon and was advised to go to hospital in case it got lodged somewhere and caused a blockage. Pooping out a bright green balloon the following day was fun.


I drunkenly tried to get on my bike after a uni party with 2 stolen bottles of Kronenburg in my pocket. When I swung my leg over the saddle the Kronenburg limited my swing and I fell backwards, twisting the knee of my standing leg in the process. Cycled home through the pain but the next morning it had ballooned. Went to hospital, obviously explained it as a football injury but he did NOT believe me. Maybe because my breath honked of cheap lager and regret.

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Got an eyelash in my eye one NYE

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The “snorted something dodgy” story is also a personal low point.

I went out and was out for a solid 24 hours, fuelled by no food, all the drinks and some of the cheapest cocaine available.

Eventually sauntered back to my home and passed out and when I woke up I quickly realised I had a very itchy arse cheek. And then the other arse cheek. And then itchy upper thighs and an itchy lower back until within about two hours it was all over my body and I was covered in hives. Rang 111 and they weren’t too concerned really, just said to get myself to a&e within the next 24 hours but to call them again if anything changed or got worse.

Now, a lovely combination of being on a comedown, a hangover, and having severe anxiety anyway meant that lil old Kermit here was doing some panic vomits. Called them again and they were like hmm that’s odd, anything else we should know? And I was so stressed that I blurted out “I’ve been doing DRUGS.” “Yeah get to the hospital in the next hour then.”

Called my uncle cause I’m sans parents and he burst out laughing and was like “could be meningitis? I’ll get your younger cousin to pick you up and take you, she’s got lupus so she knows her way around the hospital and it’ll be quicker.” Marvellous choice John, thank you :smiley: anyway she did pick me up and it was a lot quicker (I was also sick in a bin in the waiting area) and I just had to take steroids for a fortnight and I’ve never worked out what it is I’m allergic to (rat poison probably, or whatever else was in what I took).

What was very funny though is when I was seen by a doctor and he examined me (I’m wearing nothing but a band T-shirt and some shorts because my legs had swelled up too much to wear jeans), he asked if any health issues ran in my family. Idiot here just panics and says “cancer? A lot of cancer?” with tears in my eyes and he’s like “… yeah it’s not that.” :smiley:


Twisted bollock

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(Also I had a very, very similar experience to your OP but it was an NHS 111 call rather than an A&E visit and the lady on the phone could very definitely hear me farting extremely loudly in the background as my partner told her “I think he’s alright now actually”)


Teenage me was all dressed up smart for the sixth form party at school. Teenage me also had a reputation for getting blackout drunk and being the one who needed looking after before it was even night time. Since it was a big occasion, there was no doubt I was going to get absolutely hammered.

It was in Swansea, so we all got on a few hired coaches from Bridgend to get there, VIP.

Anyway, the whole night I had been doing my best to get this girl I fancied’s attention. I was an ultra-shy dork so the only way that seemed feasible to me to let a girl know I fancied them was to stare at them lots, my way of showing them that I was thinking of them. In my head, it meant that they would realise that this meant I liked them, and definitely not psychopathically obsessed, and would see it as a good excuse to come over and talk to me. Note that the talking or friendship part had not happened before this point, this was my flawless plan for us to get to know each other. Alas, this tactic didn’t work, and as such I just spent the night hammered and frustrated.

The bus dropped me off at the top of town, and such was my level of frustration, I decided to run the kilometer or so home to expend some energy (it had also started to rain). As I ran down Litchard Hill, I managed to trip on something and took a tumble. It was a pretty bad fall, but the adrenaline had spiked a bit and I still ran / hobbled the rest of the way home. When I got home I decided to clean it up a bit before going to bed. Unfortunately, the cut was not shallow, and at this point my leg was covered in blood. Not having the patience to deal with it in that state, I wrapped it up with a load of toilet paper and went to bed.

The next morning Mam woke me up looking very concerned. She’d found the trail of blood, which I’d drunkenly managed to smear on all sorts of things such as doorframes, and the toilet where I’d performed the toilet paper bandaging procedure was particularly bloody.

Anyway, she decided it was serious enough to go to A&E, so after showering up, we got in the car and headed to the hospital. On arrival, we found out that for a non-critical injury like mine, the waiting time would be at least 4 hours, which was a problem for me as I had band practice that afternoon. After a little while I managed to convince Mam that it wasn’t that bad and we should just make sure it’s clean, put a plaster on it and carry on with our lives.

Still got the scar on my knee to this day, and due to the weird way it healed, it’s like a weak spot on my knee that hurts a lot when it gets hit. All very stupid really.


Oh mate :smiley: I know it’s not funny but things like this are why you’re my favourite fellow juggalo xxx

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I mean, testicular torsion can lead to death of the affected testicle, so actually potentially quite serious. They do often untwist without help though. Sounds horrendously painful.

pretty much exactly the same thing as you, except the doctors were kind enough to invent something they called a “grumbling appendix” to assuage my shame.

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Absolutely unbelievably painful and the sort of thing that, when you’re 14 or whatever, you absolutely do NOT want to be like “Mum, my bollock is in excruciating pain, can you take me to a doctor please” so I kind of soldiered on (literally at a Lazer Quest in fact) for a few days. A truly awful experience all round.

That’s a long time to be in a Lazer quest tbh


Tried to leapfrog a bollard the day before I started secondary school.
Didn’t clear the bollard.
Missed the first day of secondary school.


I was playing fives with my mates and went in on a fifty-fifty ball and it smacked me in the face. Went home in pain, made hamburgers and opened my jaw to eat the first one and it cracked so hard it felt like my head had been split in two.

turned out i’d broken my jaw.

Posh boy eh :thinking:

I went to an Eton Fives playing grammar school so I’m actually hosted by my own Picard here…

i do not know what this is.

isn’t “fives” short form for “five aside association football” normally?

No, it’s short for Eton Fives :angry:

But yes - for normal people it’s short for fine-a-side…

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Outed myself as a posho by assuming you meant “squash with gloves for rich people”

My school had courts but I never actually played it