Ever ended up in the hospital for a silly reason?

What a euphemism!


Exhaustion due to too much lazerquest.
Couldn’t find the other guy for days, turns out he was just writhing in agony behind a wall

Oh @rich-t has already done something similar

Got a cat hair lodged at the top of my eyeball and it was so red and painful, but ultimately a cat hair in my eye. They washed it out and disinfected it and took it seriously, was deeply ashamed at the a&e walk in desk when i had to explain the hair

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Mad to read how English toffs made hitting a ball against a wall, one of the world’s universal ancient games, inaccessible and a status symbol


Once I had to accompany a drunk concussed guy from Llanelli to a&e in France, because he had temporarily forgotten how to speak English and I was the closest thing to a Welsh speaker around.

I spoke neither Welsh nor French.


That’s a very kind gesture of you, think I would have found a nearer hospital


Once broke a bone in my foot wearing shoes that were too small but really nice. I think I’d weakened the bone by dropping a wardrobe I found on my foot while trying to get it home.

Another time I was walking alongside a wall when someone shouted my name. I inexplicably turned the wrong way and smacked my head off the wall, giving myself a forehead wide graze and concussion. Must have been pretty hilarious to witness.

Both times the doctors in A&E were quite obviously bemused by my silliness.


Mid twenties, on the way back from a NY party in Clerkenwell on night bus with friends. Change of bus in Trafalgar square, we decide we’ll take the opportunity to be drunk morons and run full pelt into the water of the fountain.

No water in fountain, and I caught a foot on the lip of the pond on my way over. Face planted leaving me with hole through top lip, split across eyebrow and gash across knuckles.

Lonely St Johns ambulance (cos Traf Sq on NY) seemed quite chuffed that somebody had finally injured themselves and insisted on taking me to hospital for treatment. Casualty staff treated me with the total lack of respect I deserved.

What a dickhead.


The only time I’ve been in hospital is when i feel off my bike onto barbed wire as kid.

Would not recommend

Not hospital, but I had to go to the optician (to replace scratched glasses) and dentist (to smooth the edge of a chipped tooth) after I tripped and fell flat on my face on the pavement.

I guess there is a hospital element to it actually because it was outside one where I’d just been for tests. Think I was feeling a bit out of sorts and when I tripped, I was just looking through my pockets or something and had a load of loose change in my hands, and my brain was going too slowly to work out that I should drop the change and use my hands to break my fall.

Just remembered I had a similar injury at Truck Festival. We were playing, and drove there with a bunch of friends including a girl I was really into. There was loads of traffic leading into the site so I’m a particularly long wait I got out to have a look. The traffic moves suddenly and I decide to show off by trying to run really fast alongside the car to keep up.

Obviously totally missed a kerb, my leg disappeared from under me and I fully stacked it. Scraped a load of skin off my knee, mashed my wrist, and so the first thing I did when I got to the festival site was the medical tent. Played the main stage the next day completely bandaged up. Idiot.

Went out with the girl for 7 years then she broke up with me, probably because she remembered that.


I’ve still never myself had to spend the night in a hospital, and I’m worried that I’m overdue like a big anvil dropping on my head.

Once went into A&E because I had a cold that got unusually extreme to the point that the NHS phone line said “well… there’s a small chance it could be meningitis”

It’s apparently very common! A lot of people go to a&e thinking they’re having a heart attack or whatever and it’s WIND

Undeniably really, really funny as well


Hi guys

Did a suplex (wrestling move) on my mate and landed on the corner of his desk and split my ear in half.

I threw a water balloon at my friend who then rugby tackled me and it dislocated my shoulder again (5th time) I’d done it.

Previous attempts were playing football (X3) and stagediving at a gig (X2 New Found Glory and Set Your Goals).

It required surgery and I’ve not done it since luckily!!

I once jumped out of my first floor flat to put my bins out/get food and fractured my heel (notoriously difficult bone to break). Context:

I was renting a first floor flat with my then partner (now wife) at the time, when she was due to go to Birmingham for the weekend for a gig/spend time with friends etc. I had returned home from a night shift, gone straight to bed, before my partner left about midday and locked the door (sensibly). Unfortunately, as I discovered upon waking up, I had left my keys in my work locker, which was some distance away, so I couldn’t get outside. At first I thought about accepting my lot; there wasn’t a great deal of food in but enough to stop me from starving…but, honestly, the turning point was realising I wouldn’t be able to put the general waste bin out for collection. I’d missed it two weeks ago and it was piling up/starting to stink. So I now needed to think of a escape.

I chose the window that was facing the yard as opposed to the road, to try and avoid some embarrassment. After considering lowering myself down, I abandoned this idea because there were ornaments on the wall that I could catch. For some reason, I decided it wasn’t that far and made preparations to jump. I wasn’t 100% sold just yet so I took a picture of the drop and posted it on Facebook, with the question “is this a bad idea”. I got mainly negative comments, including my partner offering to meet me in a&e later. Undeterred, I threw out a duvet to “soften” my landing, before plucking up the courage to throw myself out after (my mate still laughs at the idea of a neighbour watching first a duvet then an adult man fly through the window). I landed on my feet but buckled immediately…at first, when I got up, it didn’t feel too bad and I hobbled to the bus stop, but once I got off it was very apparent that I couldn’t walk, so I called a taxi to take me to a&e.

It took about 8 weeks to recover. I remember a call to my dad calling me a “fucking idiot” (fair) as well as deleting the Facebook post as soon as I remembered.


Accompanied a former housemate to hospital, who took a bowl of Heinz Beans out of the microwave and one exploded in his eye. Luckily he was ok.

@wikihock broke my foot

This story is only like 10% true